Welcome to the unofficial "Timothy Treadwell's Bitch-Fest" Was He An Idiot, Or was he just a really smart guy who enjoyed living with wild bears...you Decide!! Below are some emails from people who claim to know him, people who live in Alaska and seemingly have nothing better to do than read this site, and of course our beloved Dr. Tom - enjoy...

---

Email 02.27.06: natureofproject: First off, how dare you think that Tim Treadwell was out of his mind. How can you call someone crazy just because you don't understand them, or have the mental capacity to understand you mindless fucks. Tim was a great person who did connect with animals and he stood up for what he believed in. But not you assholes at speedmonkey.com. The only thing you believe in is judging other people and the way they get through their life. How dare you think that you have the right and are good enough to make jokes about his death. YOU ARE A BUNCH OF SICK-FUCKS. SO TAKE YOUR SHITTY WEBSITE, AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS.

Email 08.19.2005: I think that while Tim Treadwell's death was tragic and without a doubt painful to those who knew him, it was a death that was also STUPID! I respect his message of protecting grizzlies but I also have to question the sanity of someone who obviously does not know the first thing about basic behaviour when you encounter a bear.

What is his message that he is sending to those oh-so-impressionable kids he spoke to? That it's okay to approach a bear and try to pet it?! I think the only way to protect these graceful and powerful creatures is to LEAVE THEM ALONE!!! He may have learned more than anyone about the behaviour of a bear but obviously his ego got the better of him, from what I've seen in his own footage. Lesson here boys and girls.....don't live in the wild with wild creatures....it'll get you killed.

Email From: Arm Chair Politician: I am writing in about Timothy Treadwell. I am from Alaska, and not only didn't Timothy not carry any firearm into the woods, he couldn't have legally even if he wanted to.

That region is protected, and not only can you not carry firearms, you can not hunt in any part of the area where treadwell claimed that he was "protecting the bears from human's wanting to kill them for their trophies and body parts".

In the end he suckered his followers and friends out of their money by lying to them, seeking their support all under the pretense of "protecting" bears in an already protected area. Then he killed another human being by illegally disturbing the most dangerous walking animal in the USA.

The worst part about this story is the fact that he taught someone out there that brown bears are our friends. Don't go seeking out these animals unless you want a problem that most likely you can't handle.


KING OF THE WORLD (AND GRIZZLIES)

Hey kids! Remember how much I apparently shat on the death of Tim Treadwell last year for poking fun at his getting eaten by a bear? Well, the grieving Marine friend of his who sent me bloodlusting death threats probably does. Either way, dear ol' Dr. Tom has been bested now.

Pretty young Leo DiCaprio has just signed on to a deal with Colombia to produce and star in the Tim Treadwell biopic.

That's right, Leo. Leo, Leo, Leo. The gay man's Brad Pitt is going to be Tim Treadwell. As if it wasn't ridiculous enough watching Leo try to grow facial hair and be a tough guy in "Gangs of New York," now he's gonna buttram the memory of a real-life tough guy. Has anyone seen a picture of Tim Treadwell? Look at it and then think of Leo, you'll get the joke. Tim Treadwell didn't just like bears, he was one.

The guy could snap Leo in half like a slim jim (if he were with us and so inclined). I guess it was inevitable, seeing as how anyone who gets famous and dies unnaturally is doomed to be capitalized on by Hollywood, but they sure as hell didn't take their sweetass time with this one. It hasn't even been a full year.

A word of advice, Leo -- use yourself for facial shots, but try and let a stuntman do all the body work. Treadwell may have been a hippie at heart, but not at bicep. He was a nature man, you are a fancy lad.

Also, when you film the dramatic death scene (which will probably be the sweet little cherry on the cake for this one no matter what), feel free to mess with the sound tech a little on your screaming. We heard your high-pitched sobs when Bill the Butcher stabbed you, and they were laugh-out-loud hilarious (probably not the effect you're going for here).

Either way, Leo, you are Leo, and hence will sell tickets to many o' thirteen-year-old girls who will indeed cry when "you" die in the end, so go on. Our wallets are open, our money is ready, our pants are down, and our hands are against the wall. Commence thrusting. You King of the Grizzlies, you.

---

Below is an email from one of Timothy's friend's. I received this email about three days after I posted Dr. Tom's report on Timothy's death. (see below, "It's A Bear You Jackass")

I responded to him personally and then posted a bit of an apology for our reckless reporting ways... My apology didn't sit too well with Dr. Tom who has proceeded to respond to all of this dribble below.

---

Tim's Friend's Email: Tim was a friend of mine , and he knew the risks. He never had any problems when he went alone. I spoke many times about taking a gun with him , if only to scare aggressive bears off. He spent countless times speaking at schools and teaching children about bears. He often said , to do the work he spent his life doing, took being willing to lose it.

Fuck you and your bullshit take on his death.

The Monkey's Response to the email:  When we first started our speedmonkey campaign, it was to vent, it was to expose our paradoxes, it was to entertain and to teach. But as our popularity increased, we never thought about our responsibility as journalists. Well, given our endless supply of grammatical errors, it's safe to assume, we're not journalists. We're confused individuals who are making the best with what the world is giving us. And world the world is giving us is, the memory of Timothy Treadwell.

Now I still think it's retarded to pretend that living with lions, tigers and bears is a good thing to do. Much like it was retarded for, Rachel Corrie to step in front of an Israeli bulldozer trying to protest the war... but my thoughts are just that, thoughts.

There's no action, no conviction.. it's easy to rant about "these people" from the safety of my Internet connection, but to go out and DO IT.. is something very few posses.

Wait a minute, didn't your friend get eaten by a bear? That's pretty cool if you think about it... better than falling down and hitting your head innocuously on some curb and dying... Dude, be proud - you're friend died doing exactly what he loved doing - how many can say that? maybe heroin addicts... How do you want to die?

---

Dr.Tom's Response to the Monkey's Response, in response to Nic's(Tim's Friend's) Response:

Dear Nic the Mourning Reader, I wrote the article on Tim Treadwell's conclusion, and you have to be out of your mind (or in a serious slump of self pity) to think that I'm going to apologize for it.

The Monkey may be a spineless little bitch who cowers behind his keyboard while mocking the world without having the balls to come out of his little banana tree, but you'll get no such satisfaction from me. Am I sorry your friend is gone? Yes. Am I sorry for how it happened? Gee whiz, Nic. That just plumb wasn't my fault.

You must have been thrown by the fact that I was the only writer on Earth to bring something besides morbidity and martyrdom to your friend's final news. I'm not making fun of the fact that Tim is dead, nor am I calling his life pointless in any way.

Instead of whining about me bringing out the humor in this so-called tragedy, why don't you try realizing that your ass is going to die too one day? How will you be finished off, Nic? Will you be another old fart with tubes in your face, leaving your family with a hospital bill that will make their existing lives much less convenient? Or will you make headlines and stir different opinions?

I am sorry for your loss just as much as I am sorry for the loss of anyone's friend or family member.

The plain fact is that Tim did not take your suggestion of bringing a gun to the woods, he figured a frying pan would work, and this naivety led to a finale that could be placed in a comedy skit just as easily as a Disney drama flick.

You could go ahead and let this haunt you forever. Otherwise, you could shake your head, have a little laugh, accept that he died in a way that made him more famous for his passion than he ever would have been with some regular pussy death, and say to yourself, "Jackass."

Don't think just because your friend isn't with us anymore gives you any right to judge this article or anything we do here. If someone loves bananas and ends up cracking their fucking head open slipping on a banana peel, there is humor to be pointed out (whether the banana victim was your personal friend or not), and that's our job here -- to point out humor in a world that takes itself too damn seriously.

So, again, I'm sorry your friend is not around any longer, and I'm sorry if I added to your grief. But it sounds to me like you have some issues. Getting eaten by a bear rocks, and I don't think you've realized that yet. That's a story, much more full of balls, adventure, horror, and wackiness than most deaths.

It's not just some weepy tale of a fallen hero that only you and the indifferent and/or ass-kissing journalists have a say in. There were plenty of published articles that took care of everything but the wackiness, and my duty as your friend and doctor is to fill in that blank, just like the speaker at the funeral's job is to point out all the nobility and flawlessness of the dead guy they usually never even knew.

"Fuck my bullshit take on your friend and his death?" No can do, brother. A bullshit take would be saying that Tim's death came out of left field. There's a big, pink elephant in this room, Nic, and we here at Speedmonkey have chosen to acknowledge it.

Deepest sympathies for your loss. Now, lighten up. The article states that he knew more about bears than anyone and that we must bow our heads for that. Otherwise, humor's our bag here, and EVERYONE ON THIS PLANET is subject to humor. That includes you, me, and the dearly departed.

If the Monkey gets electrocuted while working on his computer in the rain, I'm going to make fun of his ass too.

---

It's A Bear, You Jackass...

Dr. Tom's Original Story (what started it all)

Timothy Treadwell, the 46-year-old author of "Among Grizzlies," spent the last 13 summers of his life bonding with wild grizzly bears and living amongst them in harmony like a Tarzan of the forest... until getting mauled and eaten by one of them just recently. His girlfriend, 37-year-old Amie Huguenard, got eaten too.

Treadwell moved from New York to Long Beach, California in the late 80's, indulging madly in heroin and cocaine until he overdosed and had to find a new bag. His solution was camping in the untamed land of Alaska, and his love for the grizzly bear became his new addiction.

By living with them in the forest, he would protect them from poachers and form a spiritual kinship with them that brought him many critics. He wrote his book and appeared on national TV shows, earning himself a fame that some would compare to Diane Fossey and Jane Goodall. When a reporter once asked him if he was ever afraid of the bears, Treadwell's response was, "They wouldn't hurt me."

He was proven wrong on tape. A video camera that park rangers found when retrieving the remains of Tim and Amie had no visual, but definite audio. The last few minutes of footage contained Tim screaming for Amie to come outside of the tent and stop him from being killed, Amie screaming for Tim to just play dead, Tim screaming for Amie to hit the bear on the head with a frying pan, Amie screaming for him to just fight back, then lots of plain old screaming.

The rangers who arrived on the scene killed two bears that they claim charged them, and a necropsy on one of the bears revealed chewed up body parts of the camping couple.

In the end, Treadwell did probably know more about grizzlies than anyone else around. If that was his goal, then we must bow our heads. Essentially, it's not much more dangerous than a blonde dude like himself to be fascinated with gang members, for camping out amongst them in their natural ghetto habitat is probably just as risky.

Point being, simple-minded creatures are simple-minded creatures, no matter what kind of spiritual bond you think you have with every member of the species. Siegfried & Roy had to learn the hard way, and now it was Tim and Amie's turn.

Check out the upcoming film "Deadly Passion" - the Tim Treadwell incident. This film is Alaskan made and reveals the real facts about this tragedy. Check out the films website: www.cameraq.com for details

Love Dr. Tom