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Okay, hasn't Carrie Underwood been around for a few years now..so why the phuck was she up for best new artist?  Every year, MTV throws in nominees that are totally irrelevant to a category.  I think Nelly is still winning awards for Hot In Herre.

Fall Out Boy?  Phucking queers.  Everybody wants to be David Bowie but they all fall terribly shy.  Here's a tip - you shouldn't be able to see the change in your pocket.  Get pants that fit.

But I guess the big news was how shitty Britney Spears was.  Shock, I know.  Maybe she should lay off the Ambien before she hits the stage...she staggered through her act like an extra in a George A. Romero flick.  It was as if she made up the steps as she went along. 

And was that John Norris or Katie Couric interviewing on the red carpet.  Dude, you're like 55 years and you're wearing eye shadow..what the phuck?!  Eyeliner on guys is gay.  Guyliner?  No,no, no... gayliner. 

Chris Brown was incredible. During his groundbreaking performance, he teased us with his own take on Billy Jean, reminding us how phucking cool Micheal Jackson was before he turned pedophile.  I mean remember that shit...Micheal Jackson...he was the man.  Until he turned into a woman.  I digress. 

The Foo Fighters were their usual hard core selves, but thanx to MTV's yet again shitty production, you barely got to see them.

So there ya go, if you didn't watch it, it was about as useless as this review.  You didn't miss much.

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