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For the majority, guys don't like shopping. I still have shower curtains for bedroom curtains. I bought them at a dollar store and they work perfectly. Why the hell pay $100.00 on drapes? what the hell ARE drapes. Ugh. Block sun. Good.

Shopping for groceries is the same thing, or the same concept anyway. It's called, "Guerilla shopping."

The bare essentials. I hate spending more than 25 minutes shopping for food. I always have the best intentions when I go in, but as soon as I am there, my culinary imagination vanishes. "Ohhh let's buy horse radish spread for my casserole tonight..." Whatever.

I can't buy anything in bulk. It goes bad. Unless you eat all of it in one meal. Who wants to eat lettuce three meals a day for four days.

When I started cooking, it started with a couple of pots and frying pans. Cooking pasta sauce, slicing, dicing, mixing, tasting. Then I paired it down.

Forgot about the dicing and the extra pan. Now it's down to the pot, the wooden spoon and shelf bought pasta sauce.

Try as I might, I just couldn't see the logic in spending 30 minutes cooking a meal that I would eat in 11 seconds alone in front of the t.v.

I refuse to make a grocery list. I wouldn't even know what to put on one. I end up walking around the fucking store, confused and bewildered by all the choices. Whole wheat, white, rye, bran, Cracked bread, French bread... Old cheese, extra mild cheese, medium... come on!

So I try and stick it out. This time I'm going to save money and buy my own food. Prepare it, clean it, wrap it, zip it, tuck it, store it. Yeah sure, I'll do that. Suddenly the smell of Chinese food comes wafting in. I somehow rationalize that it wouldn't be that bad if one more time I spent 10 bucks on a quick meal. Just one more time. The time I waste on preparing my dinner and washing up afterwards is far worth more than 10 bucks. Isn't it?

So once again, I stuff myself with fat crap that is way over priced and quite possibly made from cat. But it's so good.

So next to take out food, the simpler the food the better. Even Kraft dinner is way too complex. Anything more than one utensil is too much of a hassle. Perrogies make a great meal. A pot, boiling water and 5 minutes. They are made with potatoes so you can feel somewhat healthy even after eating them for weeks on end. The best thing to do after eating a lot of junk food; have a glass of cold milk. This somehow cancels out the crap you've consumed. It makes you feel better anyway.

It's great stuffing yourself with real junk food. Eat bags of chips on end and drink soda. If you drink Coke an hour before bed, that fills you up nicely so you don't wake up hungry in the morning. Although you will find that junk food becomes more expensive than grocery store food. There is an obvious decision between saving time and saving money. Buying your own groceries may help your health and it sure will help you save some cash. There are loads of really cheap meals. Chinese noodles for 30 cents. Good soup.

Just make sure to do a couple of sit-ups and push-ups in between so your blood can flow around a bit before all the sodium hardens your ass up.

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