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"I'm sorry, I didn't hear your answer" ... as you are yelling, 'PHUCK YOU' into AT&T's answering machine.  Did you want billing or tech support? 

It's a pretty well established fact that we're idiots. Sure, there are exceptions.. but by in large, we're dopey people. We're a people who have difficulty doing things for ourselves and we love blaming others for our own incompetence, but that hasn't deterred the brilliant idea of 'self service.'

I believe it started with gas stations. If you felt like freezing your ass off then by all means you deserved saving a nickel on every gallon - if you were lazy, then you went full serve and paid the extra for the oil check blah blah...

Basically the whole idea of self serve is to save you money.. so why doesn't that translate to the movie theatres.. or Home Depot? I'm paying $612 dollars for a movie and popcorn, at the very least put the phucking butter on for me and fill me cup.

If you're clever and you go to a showing where 'Hey Arnold' is playing just next door, chances are you'll find napkins all over the floor, no cup top, and nasty looking straws from a dispenser that's 12 years old . Then, there's the butter... so first you've waited in line to buy the popcorn, now you're fighting 9 year olds as you wait to pour butter all over your popcorn and hands and grease your shirt all right to hell.

There'd be no problem with self serve butter and drink lines if the prices reflected it. At this point, there's no reason to even have people working at the theatres. You can get everything right from the machine. Most of the concession workers are about as polite as a vending machine anyway. Everything is dispensable and disposable.

Home Depot is another example of this new trend. They have introduced self serve lanes... equipped with scanning machines, credit card machines and price checkers serving ourselves only seems to slow everything down.

If I wanted to work at Home Depot, I'd fill out an application. But I don't, yet I'm slowly being made to think I do.

Most of us aren't skilled in the art of cashiering or the art of butter rationing for that matter, so why the added pressure? If I'm not given an option of having my butter professionally poured, then why should I pay professional prices?  This ain't no 'rub 'n tug'!

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