Pop culture Politics Perversion Advice Speedmonkey.net

Details

Rate

Images

Hey kids, feeling blue? suicidal? Wanna blow away all the kids at school? Sick of being picked on? Well, STOP!!! You can make all of your problems vanish. How you ask? Simple, it'll cost you 10 grand, plus some fake teeth, a fake nose, some cheek lifts, a chin implant...

That's right, for all you 16 year olds be patient because in a few years you can change who you are.. kind of like a real life Ethan Hunt... So don't bother with staying fit or taking care of yourself.

All you have to do is logon to, Famous Face and you can find out exactly how to go about changing your identity. Start saving your baby sitting money.

With millions of kids getting elective plastic surgery every year, MTV has decided to further help take advantage of these poorly misguided children by featuring them on a new documentary, "I Want A Famous Face."

Now according to their disclaimer, "The subjects of this documentary series decided on their own to get plastic surgery. MTV then asked to document their journey. MTV did not pay for any surgery performed on these subjects."

Now I wonder, who got in touch with whom? Did MTV put out an add looking for kids who may be getting plastic surgery.. They may have decided to get their own surgery, but you just know that MTV sweetened the deal. "Hey little boys.. wanna be on MTV?"

The little faggot with the earrings and the make-up, yeah buddy, that's his own hair... (Dire Straits - Old School MTV)

When did we go from Real World to, Really Fucked Up World? Why isn't MTV putting out a show that will help kids with these kinds of image disorders? I know, I know.. who wants to wait for long term result when we can have it in 30 minutes.

This cleverly edited documentary, along with a really cool soundtrack highlights the artificial intelligence of Matt and Mike Schlepp; and in the weeks to come, more celebrities will made manufactured. Including a Britney wannabe who insists that her wanting to look like Spears is proof of her perfectionism. She said this while standing in her bedroom at her parents house.

Mike and Matt have redefined their own last name; what once was a Yiddish term for, moving slowly, tediously or awkwardly, Schlepp now refers to a delusional, materialistic and misguided kid.

One question for Matt and Mike, If there is already a guy who looks like Brad Pitt, who's name happens to be, Brad Pitt and is Brad Pitt. what exactly are you bringing to the table?

Perhaps this is like the "ZOO THEORY" if we capture a couple of these poor kids, maybe we can learn from them, study them and find out why their problems exist. Ahh phuck it, let's dress them up like clowns and have people pay a nickel to see them.

Within the past month the FCC has done everything it can to clean up our broadcasting standards.. okay, well, how does a radio show that is on during school hours have more of a detrimental effect than some of the TV shows broadcast during Prime Time?

How does glamorizing plastic surgery to young teens during Must See TV... compare to trashy toilet humor targeted towards the working class folk during school hours? It doesn't.

So what's the lesson in all of this? If you hurry up and cut your face open, MTV will make you a star, for about as long as your Botox shot will last.

Kids, how many times must we tell you, it's not how you feel, it's how you look, and you look marvelous.

Read more SM rants

Name
Email
Comment