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"...well here's the problem...it's the widgets, you see this here and that there, it all needs to be changed and don't forget the underproof flush out double rust oil guard anti-cling firewall 007 protection refibulator..."

Here, take my asshole and shove your entire fist up it. And when you are finished, kick me.

Thanx. If you live in an ever changing climate, or you're a woman, you quickly learn the laws of expansion and contraction. Your windows that closed perfectly in the summer now fail to eep the ice rain from blowing in your ear at 90 MPH down the freeway.

You finally scratch enough coin together to buy yourself a car. A Flintstone and Rubble classic.

What the hell, at least it runs. But what the fuck do you do when it breaks down? For a $1000.00 you can pick yourself up a relatively decent car that will get you from here to there.

But in the meantime you gotta use a towel to wipe the inside of your windows, cause your de-frost doesn't work nor your heater for that matter.

After a few months of driving, things start to go wrong. It starts with a leak in one of your tires. No big deal. Carry a bike pump in your car. Every fucking time you go somewhere you need an extra 10 minutes to pump up your tires.

If you are smart, you'll get an automatic pump. All you have to do is plug it in to your lighter. Oh right, your lighter doesn't work. Go to a scrap yard and buy some new second hand tires. I mean fuck, they're only tires... who needs the best.

If you live in an ever changing climate, or you're a woman, you quickly learn the laws of expansion and contraction. Your windows that closed perfectly in the summer now fail to keep the ice rain from blowing in your ear at 90 MPH down the freeway. Now you have to buy some insulation tape a jam it in all the cracks of your windows.

Ahhhh peace and quiet. But how the fuck do you open your windows without destroying your Time Life's "How to Fix Your Car" tape job. No worries. It's winter. You have about four more months to think about it.

Now the only trouble is getting rid of all the pot smoke that is building up in your car... Simple, open your car door every couple of minutes for a few seconds.

You decide to have your buddy look at the car. get it tuned up. Change the plugs, oil, caps... and any other catch word that I know... Doesn't it always suck when you bring your car in to get fixed. "...well here's the problem...it's the widgets, you see this here and that there, it all needs to be changed and don't forget the underproof flush out double rust oil guard anti-cling firewall 007 protection refibulator..." Here, take my asshole and shove your entire fist up it. And whe you are finished, kick me. Thanx.

At what point do you say enough is enough. You buy the car for $1000.00 but hey, if you put $1000.00 of repairs into it, then oh then it will kick ass... until another tire goes and so on. What you want when you buy a car is, the first 8 - 12 months hassle free. At that point, the $1000.00 you spent can be considered rental fee.

Don't expect a car to last more than a year (worry free) if you only paid a grand for it. So if you can drive it for a year with out putting anything more into it than occasional oil and fluids, you shouldn't bitch when it craps out on you.

Besides if you can drive it to a scrap yard, you'll get about 200 bucks back for the thing.

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