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The Monkey has been a bit low key over the past couple of days trying to avoid the latest deadly flu bug.

According to the news, this year's strain is 3 times worse than last years.

Initially it was 4 times more severe until marketing decided that odd numbers are a more effective motivator. So it's been reduced from terror level 4 to a more mild orange/yellowish 3.

To make matters worse, treatment for the flu, or "the flu shot" has all but run out. Why couldn't I have watched the morning news..? Had, KCAL 9 decided to tell me during one of their trailers, I might have had a chance.

But they teased me... they made me aware of a pending threat... but didn't quite give me all the details until the 10 o'clock news. When the news was over, I sat back in my couch rocking back and forth in my usual fetal position.

Why, why didn't I watch the morning news? Now I'm left to wonder if I'll make it through the night.. I didn't have the flu, but according to the news, I was sure to get it...

As I rocked back and forth I started babbling incoherently to myself.. I knew had no choice; I now had to rely on eating properly, getting a good sleep, taking vitamins and drinking tons of OJ. Damn, I now have to rely on myself.

We live our lives in constant fear and with every new phobia comes a quick solution.

Disgusting micro bacteria harming your skin? Forget about soap and water.. use these quick wipes. Sure they leave your hands all filmy, but hey, no more killer bacteria.

Terrorists gonna attack? We've got you covered.. with duct tape and tarp. Exercise shmexercise, try this pill, staple your stomach...

Maybe not at first, but the more we force our bodies into accepting these instant solutions, the more we are breaking ourselves down.

With every quick wipe we use, or sleeping aid we ingest, we are preventing our bodies from using their own natural mechanisms. ( I know, it's all very scientific)

Apparently our body is a pretty incredible machine. It has this really cool way of healing itself. And the best part about it is, it happens naturally. But with all these flu shots and pain pills, our bodies will become lazy and we will become dependant on medicine. Hmmm...

It's almost as if the Government keeps us fearful and dependant. N-ah. Hang on a sec. someone's at the door...

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