Pop culture Politics Perversion Advice Speedmonkey.net

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Latest & Greatest

please stand by

Cruelty Free

No animals were harmed during the production of this website. We are 100% cruelty free. SM urges its readers to always buy cruelty free produce.

Every month a % of our profits go to various charities and organizations - Please lend a hand by clicking on a banner. Thank you. Now back to the titties...

Hottie(s) of the Week
ASU Cheerleaders

Hottie of the Week
Michelle Lombardo

IMAGES
We receive images from several contributors and we have several writers. We always strive to use only open source, royalty free images or else we pay the appropriate fee to use images through a service. Occasionally, we get images that are believed to be royalty free only to find out that they are owned by another party. When we are notified, we make these images unavailable to users. If the images in question are proven to be owned by a third party then we delete the images from our servers. If you believe you are the owner of any images you see on this site, please send us an email and we will remove them.


SM Rants

FBI To Use Monkeys For National Security

Details

Views: 248
Rating: 3
Votes: 0
Comments: 0

Rate

Images

Tags

Dolphins, NAVY, Sea Lions, Warfare
Impressed by the NAVY'S ability to train dolphins and sea lions to do their dirty work, the FBI is watching closely as the NAVY now looks into sending more of our flippered friends to Washington... State.  

It appears that, Base Kitsap-Bangor on the Puget Sound is vulnerable to waterborne (not just Jason Bourne) attacks by terrorist swimmers and divers.  So the solution; why to send up to 30 sea lions and dolphins from the Navy's Marine Mammal Based Program in San Diego of course.  

They worked in the Persian Gulf as underwater sentries so why not The Puget Sound?  Many of the sea lions are much happier as they now get to work closer to home.  Although some have griped about multiple tours of duty...

And in a few instances, complaints of dirty recruitment tricks and tactics played on the dolphins by the sea lions.  

These isolated reports however, are overshadowed by the massive success these mammals have achieved.  For the cost of a few carp, they can save lives.  Problem is, we are running out of carp.  I digress.

Back to the story at hand... in light of all the recent success the NAVY has been enjoying with the Dolphins and sea lions, and in light of recent minor mishaps (lost, stolen or missing highly sensitive laptops containing National Security data) that have been plaguing the Bureau, Director Bob Mueller ordered 2 dozen whales and sea monkeys to better protect the FBI.  

After learning that sea monkeys are in fact, Artemia NYOS and harmless... And after the Whales had died due to being kept in Bob's office, Mr. Mueller went for plan B.  

Then, after learning that Plan B was acquiring the flying monkeys from Oz, he went with plan C, monkey's and apes from a close by planet.  He called Charlton.  Charlton couldn’t remember who Bob was, so Bob called Marky.  

Quoting an anonymous source, if a monkey can run the White House, then why can't they protect the FBI?

Read more SM rants

Comments

There are no comments on this item.


Name
Email
Comment
 

Top Viewed Stories


FMK

please stand by

Blogroll

Eyecandy

please stand by