And Then...

Love 'em or hate 'em, we all get "Dear John" Christmas form letters and depending on who sends them, they can range from totally phucking boring to out right arrogant.

Every holiday season, as sure as Rudolf, I end up receiving at least one "Christmas Form Letter."

In the event that you don't know what a form letter is, it usually starts off like this: "My Dear Friends..." (These people obviously has too many friends to address them individually by name) 2003 was another fantastic year for us. Billy won the gold medal for his science project and little Emma grew 9.42 inches..."

Then, the letter goes on and on at length about the great accomplishments they have achieved over the past year... and if God is really has a sense of humor, you won't just get a letter, you'll get a Holiday card with everyone's updated family portrait on the front.. But only if you haven't been naughty.

I suppose for a few people, getting a form letter is the best way to catch up on all the details that your "dear friend" forgot to tell you about throughout the year, but it's a little presumptuous to think that all 25 + recipients of your letter really care about the new color you selected for your car.

Maybe it's unfortunate, but in today's rat infested race, who has time to read about the growth spurts that your youngest kid is going through? News flash grandma.. all kids grow!! So PLEASE, leave out the fluff and bullet point the rest. A good form letter should read like this,

"My Dear Friends...
I'm healthy, we traveled a lot, kid's are staying out of trouble, still working, Life is good. Merry Christmas..."

Anybody that deserves to know more, should get a hand written, personlaized letter.

I understand the point of a form letters is to allow your friends to catch up on your life and saves time in writing, but what about the time we waste in reading?

Yes, yes, some may argue that reading a letter from a dear friend is never a waste.. but when your friends are all monkey's, even the typing gets sloppy.

Anyway, most of the time these letters are a self inflating way to let everyone know how wonderful everything is.. I mean really, who wants to write about how crappy they are doing? Although it would make for a much better read...