Pop culture Politics Perversion Advice Speedmonkey.net

Details

Rate

Images

A buddy of mine, 'Billy No Mates' is traveling to Canada for a couple of weeks.  His Firm... no he's not a Football Hooligan... sent him some tips o how to behave when traveling to Canada:

---

General Cultural Tips
 
1. Canadians may feel uncomfortable if you stand too close to them during conversation. Stand approximately two feet away from people.

2. If invited to a Canadian home, bring a gift of flowers, candy or a bottle of wine. Note that French Canadians may expect you to stay out of 'private' rooms- including the kitchen - unless they invite you to enter them.

3. Pointing with your index finger at another person is considered impolite.
 
4. Smoking has been banned in most public areas.

5. People form lines pay for items in stores, buy theatre tickets, enter buildings and board public transportation. Even if the line is informal, or if no line is made, people rely on a "first come, first served" mindset. Do not jump or push ahead in line.
 
6. To show approval, there are two common gestures: the "O.K." sign, formed by making a circle of the thumb and index finger, and the "thumbs up" sign, formed by making a fist and pointing the thumb upward.

---

Holy phuck, you'd think my buddy is retarded or something.. I wonder what kind of people his company hires if they feel the need to explain the physical gesture of  "OK"

And while we're in a patriotic mood, 

---

Signs of being Canadian:

1. You're not offended by the term "HOMO MILK".

2. You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."

3. You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.

4. You drink Pop, not Soda.

5. You know that a Mickey and 24's mean, "party at the camp, eh!!!"

6. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars.

7. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.

8. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.

9. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.

10. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group.

11. You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.

12. You brag to Americans that; Shania Twain, Howey Mandell,Jim Carrey, Celine Dion & Mike Myers are Canadians.

13. You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!

14. You know what a toque is.

15. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

16. You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed".

17. Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.

18. You know that the four seasons mean: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road work.

19. You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day.

20. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.

21. You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan".

22. You perk up when you hear the theme song from 'Hockey Night in Canada'.

23. You are in grade 12, not the 12th grade.

24. "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary, and is more polite than, "Huh?"

25. You actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all of your Canadian friends!   (Then you send them to your American friends just to confuse them!)

Read more SM rants

Name
Email
Comment