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Just the other day I received, by mistake, The Annual Water Quality Report for the City of Angels. Curious to see what I'm bathing in everyday, I decided to give it a read.

Yawn, yawn, pie chart, statistics, graphs.. the usual boring..oh wait, what's this...

"WHAT'S IN MY WATER?"

"In 2003, the following compounds that have primary standards were detected at low levels in the treated water on Central and Eastern Los Angeles area: Aluminum, arsenic, barium, bromate, chlorine, coliform, flouride, haloacetic acids, nitrate, radionucllides (alpha, beta, radium, uranium), selenium, tetrachloroethylene (PCE), trichloroethylene, (TCE), trihalomethanes and turbidity. Test results showed that the level of these compounds were far below the established maximum contaminant levels (MCLs), which are the health protective standards set by the EPA and DHS."

Well at least they are below the established maximum.. a little arsenic a day keeps the ... ahhh, I got nothing ...

And you phuckers think there's a problem with getting drugs from Canada? Aresnic?

By definition of the Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, ARSENIC: A poisonous Trioxide As2O3 or As4O6 of arsenic used esp. as an insecticide or weed killer.

Now by their definition, found in the annual report, Arsenic is a naturally occurring element in the city's water supply from the Los Angeles Aqueducts due to geothermic springs in the Eastern Sierra...

Now, let's pick up a bottle of Arrowhead... hmmm.. look at that... almost none of the same ingredients.

And just this past week, LA officials announced that they are now adding a combination of Chlorine and Ammonia to the water called, Chloramonia. Because we need more chemicals in the water.

Next, Tobacco and tomaotes... Tomacco.

So next time you see an asshole flicking his cigarette out his car window, run over, pick it up and throw it back in their car. With any luck it'll still be lit.

Everything we throw on the streets and sidewalks gets washed away into drain pipes then into our waters... destroying our fish and our environment. That metal thing beside you is an ashtray phuck face.