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March 09 2004

So you've tried box cutters... the white powder... but for some reason everytime you try something new, somebody else has to take the credit for it.

So what now? All your ideas have been tried before, you need an original plan.. crop dusters? n'ah... the FBI warned about those last year... how about our water system? Nope.. the FBI already told them about that one...

How about pens? That's it!! They'll use pens to spread our terror. Nobody has ever thought of that one.. until the FBI told them about it... they are even telling them what kind of chemicals to use...

The FBI said that bullet cavities of pen guns could be filled with poisonous chemicals or biological toxins, including cyanide, mercury, arsenic and ricin.

You got that guys? Let's repeat it, if you are in need of deadly poison's to refill your fountain pen... try using cyanide, mercury, arsenic and ricin. According to the FBI, those work the best.

One more thing, if you're stuck on where to buy this special gift, the FBI can help.

"Pen guns are readily available in the United States and have recently become available in Europe, the Balkans, Middle East and South Asia, the FBI said."

"The FBI possesses no information indicating that chemical pen guns are currently being used or will be used in terrorist operations in the United States; however, law enforcement agencies should remain alert to the potential use of such devices," the FBI said in the notice."

So, even though they admittedly know nothing of any threat, they've decided to go ahead and get everyone worked up over it. So now what? duct tape and tarp? White Out?

Is the purpose to make us fearful of our own shadows? Because with all these impending threats.. yellow, blue, orange.. the joke is getting kind of long in the tooth.

So how about this, you go ahead and do your jobs and maybe if you do at last part correctly, you wouldn't need to involve us in all of your stupid pranks and false alarms.

My question would be, if it has been proven that US intelligence is far short of accurate, how do we get our confidence back if we're now worrying about poisonous pens that don't really even exist? Hold on, there's a knock at my door..