Well, it's been about a year since I had first watched the Newlyweds - and I must admit, I'm still watching. What makes the show so compelling? Is it the lack programming in genral? Or is the endless supply of intelligent quotes? Whatever it is, I was horrified when I found out that they are not renewing the show for another season. Perhaps Nick and Jessica have finally had enough - but what about us? What about our entertainment?

Anna Nicole Simpson

If your parents are concerned that the Anna Nicole Smith show is too racy and raunchy not to worry, MTV has their own "reality" show, "Newlyweds."

Now at first I couldn't believe it... I felt anger.. Once again MTV has lowered the bar or have they?

Newlyweds could very well be the most clever show on television. MTV is actually teaching us that success and wealth does not always equal intelligence, respect or security.

With all the wealth, looks and power in the world, Jessica Simpson is still a sniveling, whiney, naggy insecure prima donna who always needs to go to the bathroom. Ladies, you need to watch this show. Men, you need to watch this show.

Regardless of your material wealth and looks, you can still be annoyingly insecure. Why, because when you're hot you don't need to rely on your intelligence until one day you realize, "Shit, I have nothing else to offer..." And THAT is when you become insecure.

Of course the editing has pretty much everything to do with what we see and hear, but they must have so much footage to work with. Her lack of awareness for anybody but herself and maybe her husband, is not an act.

We all need to study this program to see how the grass in never greener. "What's the LPGA?" "There are mouses in the pool" "I'm 23 which is near 25 which is almost mid 20's" Are just a few of Jessica's endless supply of quotable quotes.

Sure, someone may be kind and sweet, but that doesn't make up for their lack of awareness. And lack of awareness, is one of the ugliest qualities a person can posses.

MTV begs the question, would you give up all your knowledge and intelligence to be beautiful and rich?

Of course the producers needed to make a show involving her extraordinary life... she's worth gold, she's an intelligible Ozzy. But why would she subject herself to such exposure? Why? lack of awarness. It's fun for her to pretend she's pretending to be so dumb. This, America, is what we value.

 Newlyweds...
(sept 10th 2003)

I had a bit of downtime in between changing bong water so I decided to watch a bit of MTV to see what clever programming they have going on...

Oh look, Newlyweds... with Jessica Simpson and Nick... Simpson... come on 98 degrees? We all know She's the only reason we know his name.. or is it the other way around?

Anyway, MTV does what they can to show us all that, no matter how rich we are, no matter how perfect we look, and no matter how successful we are, we can still have problems.

Like Jessica and Nick for example... it seems that Jessica is used to having someone pick up after her, so as a result their home is always messy - creating heat and tension between the two love birds.

Now just when it can't get anymore compelling, the cameras change scenes and we now see Nick, complaining to his stylist about the slovenly habits of his wife. You see, Nick... he grew up learning how to clean up after himself so you can imagine the hell he's going through.

Because the house is so big, Jessica is finding herself overwhelmed with chores. There is so much decorating that needs to be done, where does she start?

We'll have to wait until next weeks episode. I think she's gonna start in the bedroom, but experts feel that she'll start cozying up the living room first.

Just as the show heats up, Jessica calls her friend and asks... "Are there maids for celebrities.."

No Jessica, Steven Spielberg cleans his own fucking toilet.

If you're a celebrity.. do you call yourself a celebrity? How do you have the arrogance to let that roll off your lips...?

I'm a celebrity.. is there a special maid for me... cause my shit stinks really really... really bad.

Related:
Jessica's Mega Cleavage
Jessica's Nipple Slip
Jessica's Lovely Rack Part Deux
Jessica's Awesome Cleavage