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There is something happening in America that no one wants to really talk about, but everyone must start paying more attention to. George Orwell's vision of 1984, a world where people avoid thinking and make sure they praise all of the garbage they are told to praise, is finding its way into the real world by way of entertainment. There are boy bands, there are sitcoms.. and now there are "The Hours."

For one brief moment, I will go into my own experience on this, then I will stand back and give critique. Forgive me, I must tell you how I came to even feel that this movie was worth writing about.

I took my girlfriend to see this film in full knowledge of the fact that it would be about women. In the tradition of "Steel Magnolias" and "Friend Green Tomatoes," this would be a movie about woman problems with woman characters and womanly dialogue, and I was ready for that. What I was not ready for was to be in sheer agony. This was literally the worst movie I have seen ALL YEAR. IT IS GARBAGE.

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3" kicked its ass. Not only did I refrain from telling the Spanish speaking women next to me in the theater to please be quiet, I listened intently to their conversation while trying to pick up on my Spanish. I knew that whatever they were speaking of had to be more compelling. The actual movie going experience was a waste of life. What got me riled up and passionate over it was not the movie, but the publicity it has received.

The night after I saw it, it won the Golden Globe. People will see this. Hence, I am angry.

In the 1970's, the black community had "The Jeffersons" to watch. It was well recieved, not because the Jeffersons were a realistic black family and not because they talked like real black people or dealt with realistic issues that black people dealt with. The black community embraced "The Jeffersons," because it was all they had. Otherwise, people simply did not write much entertainment material for black people. The same, unfortunately, goes for women still.

When was the last time you saw a major studio picture about women? Not women chasing men, just women. Even "Erin Brockovich" had a male character who she was begging to stay with her. "The Hours" is a rarity for this, therefore it will be paid attention to and praised. However, make no mistake. This movie stereotypes every bit of estrogen in all of its female characters, not to mention the males as well.

Three brilliant actresses pick up a paycheck for doing very little here, and at least one of them will receive an Oscar nod. Why? No, not because this movie is worth even sneaking into. It is because of the lack of competition amongst female lead roles in Hollywood. "The Hours" is just a stupid movie with one-dimensional characters that never conquer the fears they bitch about in the constant melodramatic monologues that are put to a headache of a piano score that never fades and always reaches a crescendo when the audience is being spoonfed their emotions. Its publicity is the direct insult on women.


If you are a guy and want to understand women better, listen to them in real life. If you want to be under the impression that all of them have serious lesbian urges (even amongst sisters), none of them can figure their own way out of an obstacle, and every time they talk they take a five-second pause after they are finished speaking in order for their listener to take a moment of recognition on how what they just said had a "deeper" meaning, go blow your time and money.

Otherwise, think about this: a world where we, as guys, had to wait periods of years for a movie about guys to come out. I'll bet we'd automatically praise the shit out of it too. This is what women all around the country are doing with "The Hours," a daytime soap opera with a few big names.

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