Looks like Wes Anderson has become the M. Night Shyamalan of hipster movies, because instead of trying something new (besides adding sea creatures or having one take place in India), he's chosen to stick with the formula that sells and feed it to us like Mickey D's. Only, like Shyamalan, he's convinced that he's an artist who tried really hard here. The opening sequence to this one is perfect.

So perfect, I found myself grinning within seconds of what was about to come. Yeah, so Anderson has a style, but it was being used brilliantly and I was into it. It ends with Adrien Brody catching the train (The Darjeeling Limited), and that's pretty much where the excitement ends too. We then follow him to his room, where he's awaited by brothers Jason Schwartzman and Owen Wilson, and everything turns into the wandering, random, slowly-paced, "oh, hey, did you hear that one clever line just there?" dialogue that bogged down the full-of-style-yet-lacking-any-real-human-emotion "The Life Aquatic."

The premise is actually funny -- Francis (Wilson, playing... well, Wilson), the oldest brother, has decided that the three of them are going to have a spiritual journey, and he's made an itinerary to make sure this happens. The other two aren't enthused about this idea, and the three naturally ending up butting heads. While there are some funny moments, don't expect them to be laugh-out-loud ones, and while there are some emotional ones, don't expect to shed any tears. There's one particular part in an Indian village where Schwartzman throws a clump of flowers onto a truck of female mourners as he passes by, likely thinking he's following some kind of native tradition. It would've been funny AND sad, a real moment, but it was basically lost in the trademark Anderson sloooow-motion-to-a cool-song-walk.

Much like Kevin Smith flicks, which I once thought Anderson was better than, this flick throws in little insider crap for the fans, like the guy who played Pagoda showing up here and there. He doesn't say anything, but he's there just so hipsters can go "Heh, check it out, Pagoda, you see him right there?" Like "Aquatic," loyal fans will likely say this one "grows on you," and like I said to "Aquatic," I don't have time for anymore phucking movies that "grow on me" just because I WANTED to like them. "Bottle Rocket" was cute and promising, "Rushmore" was new and quirky, "The Royal Tenenbaums" was funny and so-damn-close-to-a-great-movie-you-think-the-next-one-will-blow-you-away, "The Life Aquatic" survived on style alone and ultimately pootered, and "The Darjeeling Limited" should've just been called "Wes Anderson's Limited."

Wanna know when the end is? Well, after some boring crap, obvious symbolization, random moments where the guys do something cute and yet... random, and semi-growth that could've been done a lot better but probably got left where it did so Anderson would be convinced that his film was true to life, the characters... no, wait, you'll never guess this if you've seen every other Anderson movie... they head off somewhere in slow motion to a cool 70's rock song! What a twist.
 
(two bongs)