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To be fair, I screened this one with some friends on New Year's Eve before we went out and got shitfaced. We were drinking, we were vocal, and I'm sure we missed a few little details here and there. Nevertheless, I got the gist of it, and can guarantee this to be the most depressing movie of the year.

Whether "depressing" is good or bad, that's up to you. I will say it was genuinely depressing, not absolutely-hilarious-while-trying-desperately-to-be-depressing ("Monster's Ball," best comedy of 2002), so they certainly got their job done well.

Morgan Freeman's getting his Oscar for this one, hands down. He's been passed over a few times, this is a great role and a great actor, and it'll be a supporting role nomination, so there's no contest with anyone playing a child molester or historic figure. He deserves it.

Kudos to Clint Eastwood, for he turns in a solid performance while simultaneously showing us that he really can get unabashedly mushy in the director's chair. Hilary Swank does her good stuff as usual, but don't think you won't be annoyed if you're already kinda tired of her obsession with playing the female martyr all the time. I'm not sure there is another actress in this particular solar system that has had to go through as much shit on camera as Hilary Swank. If you think getting raped in the same night everyone finds out you don't really have a dick when you're a lesbian trying to pass as a guy in a hicktown is harsh, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Oh, and try not to think of Pat Morita coaching her for martial arts in "The Next Karate Kid" while you're watching Clint spill the boxer jive to her, it'll take away from the effect they were going for.

The plot: Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freeman are run-down old boxers who manage a ghetto boxing gym. Eastwood is cynical, Freeman has hope. Enter Hilary, a chick who wants to box. Being from the old school, Clint doesn't like the idea (although Morgan does), and refuses her at first. As you may guess, he ends up taking to her and developing a moving father-daughter relationship that will change both of their lives forever. The rest? I don't wanna spoil it. While it won't necessarily keep you from killing yourself if you're thinking about it, it is worth seeing.

The narration of Morgan Freeman gets a tad tedious at times, but it does lead to one of the most memorable endings I've seen in quite a while, so all pays off. The one inkling of this flick that just doesn't fit is how it takes place in LA. For some reason, the movie just never really feels LA, and the sight of palm trees in the background here and there is almost enough to take one out of the plot for a brief moment to go "Oh, shit, they're in LA. Hm."

Aside from that, the boxing scenes are involving as hell, the emotion is real (a breath of fresh air for the few of us who would dare call "Mystic River" a melodrama), and the plot, while it is indeed from an old outline, is unpredictable enough to keep you seated until the last frame. Nobody said everything has to be happy, and when a film comes out that's a genuine work of art that's gonna last and be held up as an example of worthy craftsmanship for years to come, it's worth praising, especially in these "fockerized" times where Hollywood has not only lost its balls, it's forgotten to douche for quite a while and developed a seriously smelly vagina.

All in all, this is a good film. Quite good. And depressing. See it if you're not trying to bang the person you're going to the movies with.

(four bongs)

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