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ETERNAL BOREDOM OF THE UNIMPRESSED MIND This will be a quickie -- Great idea, lame-ass movie. Sadly, it was written by the guy who brought the brilliantly odd "Being John Malkovich" to us. Jim Carrey plays Joel, a guy who goes to Lacuna Inc. to have his ex-gal Clementine (the wonderful Kate Winslet) erased from his memory.

Halfway through the operation, in which Joel revisits every memory of their relationship, he decides he wants to give it another shot and commences dragging Clementine through the different parts of his mind that she's never been to in order to save her. Who can deny it? That's cool as shit. What an incredible premise for a flick, and what a magnificent cast they assembled (Elijah Wood even shines at portraying what he is best at portraying -- an annoying little bitch-boy).

The problem lies in the dead horse that this story beats until we, the audience, are covered in this poor horse's shit, blood, and brains. It goes on, and on, and on, saying the same thing over and over and over. As far as the human truth in it, it's scattered. While the characters themselves are relatable, their surfacey dialogue is often lame exposition.

On top of that, these oh-so-quirky-and-honest people fail to stay true to the nature of their world by making decisions that, while serving the plot in a forceful manner, sure as shit don't make any sense. Example: When a female secretary of Lacuna has an affair with a doctor there and his wife finds out, everyone agrees that the best thing to do is erase the older-man crush from the secretary's memory.... Color me silly, but most wives I've heard of (with any human traits) would lean more towards hiring a new phucking secretary (if they didn't divorce the cheating bastard in the first place).

All in all, again, it's a great idea with great characters and great actors playing them that all could have added up to have been a great film. Instead, it's a quirky film that could have been a half hour shorter. No matter what though, chicks and stoners will love it. It's "deep."

(three bongs)

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