If you've taken the time to peruse our in-depth psycho-analytical theories or our professional dissertations, you may have discovered that there is not much on, 'How to move on after you've been dumped' Or 'Mending A broken heart.' That's because I've never had too much experience with a broken heart. That, or I'm still in denial.
Of course the common answer is, find another girl. It's a common and easy answer for anyone who's never had their heart ripped out with a spoon. It's an easy answer if they've never had the woman of their dreams gently and tenderly maul their way into your chest and feed on your heart. Fine, I'm in denial.

There's nothing you can do to mend a broken heart except to give it time. After you've made a complete jackass out of yourself by writing stupid, 'I need you more than oxygen' letters and making her 'that's our song' tapes, you still may find yourself bawling like a school girl just at the thought of life without her/him.

After all, you've made future plans. You can never see yourself sharing your feelings with another person the way you shared with your ex. You can't be bothered with meeting anyone's parents again or getting to know their siblings. So what do you do? You get over yourself.

Stop listening to that phucking song..the one that makes you curl up like a ring worm. For some reason we all love the pain, we love to go over the 'why's' and the 'what ifs.' So sulk for a day or two but then pick your tail up and realize that you're gonna live another day.

As much as you can't admit it, there's another 'someone' out there for you. Someone even better and someone you're meant to be with (for that moment in time).

Stop boring your friends with your pathetic tales of, 'she's the one.' No, she's not the one.. or at least she's not the one for right now. So deal with it. Get drunk with the boys, feel like shit in the morning, cry the next day and be done with it.

That's what you need to do.. in theory of course. Practice doesn't quite go like that does it? No.. it doesn't. In the real world, you wake up and realize that s/he's gone.. you sulk. Then, something comes along and you forget about him/her for about an hour or so, then you see something that reminds you of your special time.. you sulk.

But what happens as time passes and you get through those days is, that 'hour' in which you had forgotten about them gets longer. So as the months go, you can now go weeks without thinking about them. And soon enough, your bitter and crippling thoughts of despair and loneliness turn into numbing forgetfulness and denial.

The thing is, we need to realize that we're alive for a long time. We go through many relationships. We lose people we never thought we'd lose and gain those we never thought we'd gain. It's all part of a bigger picture that we're just not privy to. So rlax and enjoy the ride.

So to those of you who have emailed in and requested advice for forlorn friends, Time. You can make out with random chicks, get drunk.. get stoned and do whatever you think you need to do to mask your intestines from feeling like they are going to explode, but the one truth that will absolve all your hurt is time.