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My girlfriend asked me the other day if I had any shame. She wanted to know if there is any girl I would not sleep with. Is there any girl to whom I would politely say, "no thanks I'm not interested."

Am I not confident with myself? Do I need to hump anything that approaches me? When I am in my car why do I speed ahead to catch a glimpse of, "that blonde in the car over there" Do I really think she's going to stop her car in the middle of the freeway and give me her number?

Looking back on all the years gone by, I realized there has not been ONE woman I have ever said "no" to. Every one of them I looked at as an adventure. Her over there… she's fat and hairy… I want her. That girl there…fat and black…bring her to me. This girl here…short and skinny…I must have her. Yummy mommy with a stretched tummy…let me play with her skin.

Looking back on it now I wonder how the hell I ever put my tongue or un-wrapped dick in some of the places I had. But I did it I'm alive; I'm healthy and satiated.

Now that I have experienced different adventures, I would like to think that I'll never have a mid life crisis. When I'm 40 I'll never wonder what it's like to see two 20-year-old chicks licking each other. Seen it, done it. I'll never feel like I have missed out.

So by my logic, if you have as many "crazy experiences" as you can when you are young, you will lead a more satisfied "older" life. (Of course "crazy experiences" is a relative term)

BUT, as a man, the urges will NEVER STOP. That's the frustrating part. We have penises. Because we do, we will always have to fight "THE URGE" Do you really think our instincts have evolved since primitive times? These are instincts, they don't just change! What does change however is the way in which we act upon our instincts.

Hopefully the older we get, we become more in-control of our instincts, and not try to hump every girl that pays us a compliment.

Hot Girl: "hey MoNkEy, you look good in that shirt…"
MoNkEy(to Himself): You hear that, she likes me; she wants to have sex with me.

So, do you see how pathetic men are? I don't know how it happens, it just does. Men can turn anything a girl says into "I think she likes me"

Just one more lap dance, I think she likes me… I think I can get her phone number…. YOU IDIOT!!!! Stop wasting your money!!!! If you have ever "dated" a stripper (like anyone really "dates" strippers) you know that they don't fuck the customers. BUT they want you to think they do. Hello?

No shame, just sex. If you're drunk, high, incoherent or stuck in the mud none of it matters; it's sex. Men and Sex = NO SHAME.

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