Woody, I'm Going To Steal Your Girlfriend

natureofproject: Hi monkey, i've got a question/situation.

So i was over at my friend's house, and i decided to invite this girl, seeing how one night, in a drunken haze, i had told her over MSN that i liked her, and she said she liked me as well.

Well, either way, we got there, and my annoying, say-everything-know-nothing, friend Nick was there. We had a few drinks, but my friend would not leave me and the girl (Meg) alone. he was being seriously clingly.

So either way, somehow Meg had told him that she liked him (i'm not sure more or less) than me. I'm mad because I've known/liked this girl (and i've talked to him about it) for a long time, and he just goes right ahead and hangs out with her while I'm not in the room, secuding her. ASSHOLE!

I think you might say "hey, bros before hoes" or something along those lines, but be aware that I don't like this kid. I find him super-offensive, and he's always being a racist dickhead to anyone and everyone (calling people fags constantly, making fun of people for being different than him.

But, another dimension to this problem is that he is in my band (we're actually having fair success around town, opening for quasi-major independent bands), and he hangs around me constantly.

If you got a chance to read all that, thank you. If you reply, thanks again!


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SM: Thanx for your email. The good news is, your situation is not unique. The whole 'band' thing.. yeah, but a friend making moves on 'your' girl is certainly not new. Best friends, married with kids.. it doesn't seem to matter; there's double crossing everywhere you look. So now you have a couple of choices, you can do confront him, or you can internalize it.

Confronting him will only lead to a shit load of issues. none of which you really want to deal with. So you need to internalize it and learn from it. There's another expression: "I'll trust you with my life but not my money or my wife" So take it all for what it's worth. Also, you have to consider that the girl is a total bitch for doing that to you. While the
guy is a dick for doing what he did - the girl is the one that can say no. Your buddy is just working off his instinct.

Regarding the band thing - though it's fun, you have to look at it as a business venture. There's no room for personal feelings. Tons of bands hate each other but they still put out great music. Crosby, Still, Nash and Young were trying to kill each other every night. Seriously.

The best thing of all is, you know exactly what people of capable and you know where you stand with your asshole 'friend' Be happy that it happened on the first night she came over.. it would have happened eventually, so it's better to get it out of the way now. Remember, 'Art of War' now you have a bit more ammunition. So stop being 'mad' but don't mistake that for 'forgiveness' or 'forgetfulness'. Use it young grasshopper. Mmmm... grass...

Good luck.

SM