Pop culture Politics Perversion Advice Speedmonkey.net

Do you weep? Do you rush on line to find the latest in hair growth replacement products? Do you hang upside down and rub mustard on your head...I swear it worked for the natives. Or do you sit back and imagine what you'd look like as captain of the Star Ship Enterprise? Time to start sucking on lollipops (Kojak, you idiot).

The type of person you are will dictate how you will respond to the situation. I would sit back and cry for days. Weep like a two year old girl and never go out in public again. Why? cause I'm a vain bastard. I would shave my head and study theology. I would shave my head, blow up a mountain, snowboard to safety and rescue the world from destruction (a la, XXX).

One thing I would not do is, buy a hair piece. I would not try a "comb over," nor apply spray paint or shoe polish. I would not rub ointment on my scalp for hours on end. I would not wear hats for the rest of my waking hours, I would not weave. I would not be, "THAT GUY" I would polish my head and keep it shiny. I would be proud (after the initial weeping period is over) Confidence comes in all forms.

Tall, short, skinny, fat and even bald. Confidence does not discriminate. Confidence is sexy. Perhaps the sexiest attribute of a person's personality. (Confidence not arrogance) Covering up baldness is obvious. NEVER be obvious. NEVER give away your advantage. Covering up means insecurity. And even though we all have our insecurities, they are not as obvious as a toupee or a bad weave.

It's sexier to be confident when people are trying to knock you down. Be bald, be proud. Shit, the American Eagle is bald. Now there's confidence. Poor thing is almost extinct...but I'm sure they are quite confident birds...