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You know, the one who wears a concert shirt of the band he is going to see. That guy.

If you are hot for a chick and she works in "the mall" or at Starbucks, DON'T hang around her work and wait for the opportunity to ask her out. She's at work. Don't bug her.

Imagine, she's alone at the counter... you ask her "hey wanna go out with me" just then the phone rings. She has to answer it. So like a piece of dangling cheese you wait for her to get off the phone. In the meantime she has thought of every reason to say no or worse, "as friends?"

Don't be that creepy guy who checks out chicks from the corner of his eye. If you are going to look, look and get it over with. You fucking creep.

It's obvious men are pigs. Especially in large gangs. A couple of years ago after the Puerto Rican Independence day celebration in New York, the streets turned to mayhem as women were being dragged down by throngs of men groping and molesting them.


Just when you think our outlook towards women and violence gets better, along comes these fucked up money making schemes that only add to our tribal animalistic tendencies. Sure orgies are fun, but these fucked up public displays of sex only adds to the all around humiliation and degradation of women.

No wonder it will never get better. Don't be that guy. Don't be the asshole that you think women are attracted to. Be yourself. Unless yourself is an asshole. In which case you have more to worry about than gettin' laid.

"Johnny"

Also may be known as Brad, Chad, Chet or Chip. He's the guy who's always trying a little too hard. He's got the perfect hair, two matching earings and a tight t-shirt with sleeves rolled up. "Hey, how you doin'?"

I have to admit at one point I was "that guy" which is why I can spot him a mile away. Give up on the matching earings. Fuck, give up on the earings. Guys wore double earings back in the nineties to show everyone that they were okay with wearing what was one perceived an accessory for girls or fags.

Rolled up sleeves? it's pretty simple, girls can figure out for themselves whether you have a hard body or not. Rolling up your sleeves to show off you biceps is sad and pathetic. Then again, you may want to attract the types of girls that are turned on by such insecure gestures.

With your shit eating grin you go for the small talk and finish of the conversation with a *wink* and that stoopid "clacking" sound you make to call horses. There are so many clueless idiots out there. The good thing for them is, they're clueless about it.

Don't be "the loud talker" You know the guy at the coffee shop talking to his friend... and anybody else who wants to listen. It's so fucking obvious that you want everyone to hear what cool things you have to say. "...really, your Corvette needs to be tuned-up but you have no time cause you're off to Vegas...?"

Who gives a shit. Your obvious and pathetic attempt to impress the hottie sitting at the table next to you wouldn't work even if you had your own jet parked outside.

Time and Place. Learn it. There's never time to sound like a pompous ass. You're not fooling anyone, you insecure child.

Don't be that guy... The guy that calls everyone, "boss" "chief" "big guy" "tough guy" "sport" If you have nothing normal to call someone, like their name, then don't sound like a socially inept boob and use obvious catch names.

Who the fuck likes being called, "Hey sport" A dog maybe. There's a time and place for everything. There's nothing wrong with being quite and mysterious. Chicks dig it. I mean who would want to hang out with Joe Rockhead. Yap Yap Yap.. all day long. The chicks that hang around with them are just as stupid and empty.

So if you think you're impressing anyone with your 1998 Low Rider Honda Civic, your chrome wheels, windows rolled down blasting LL Cool J from your speakers calling everyone "tough guy" You're not. Get a grip white-y. We're laughing AT you.

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