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As the 3 or 4 of you reading this may already know - The Monkey went through a pretty shitty time at the end of last year. The wife left and alone he rolled himself in feces, ate 5 day old pizza and drank more booze in a month than he had in 5 years.

Until one day he decided enough was enough. He cleaned himself up, shaved his back hair and dragged his knuckles into town in hopes of finding a new mate. A new primate...

So begins the undaunting task of filtering through all of them to find your one true mate... Whatever!!!

Having been in a committed relationship for about 4 years, I'm a bit rusty.  I've been stumbling a bit out of the starting blocks. What's more is, I've never gone out hunting here in Los Angeles, AND, I've never been 35. So mix that all up and you've got yourself a big bumbling ball of insecurity and uncertainty.

So after going on a date or two, I would sit back and ask myself, "did she like me" or, "I hope she calls me" or, "Maybe the Little Bo Peep outfit was too much..."

I'd analyze the details of the date and end up getting more depressed when I'd realize that it's 'just not there.'

I brought this up with a buddy of mine who looked at me and said, "WHO CARES!" Just move on to the next one, he said. Don't worry if they're going to call, or if they gave you the right phone number... or if a restraining order works outside of California's State border...

Basically, the advice here is - don't look back. So regardless if you're a 35 year old sniveling, insecure misshapen ball or doodie, or if you're a 14 yearly old pimply faced kid - this advice pertains to you. Don't get hung up on past details of a date. Much like comparing notes with your classmates after an exam, it's a waste of time.

The only thing you need to be doing is, looking out for yourself. That doesn't mean becoming a selfish and cold bastard (that will come naturally with time). It means, just carry on with your day. Stay focused on the task at hand and don't sit by the phone waiting for her to call, you'll drive yourself into a deeper funk. Instead, enjoy every minute of every hour of being alone because one day, you'll find yourself praying to get the phuck away from 'her/him' all over again!!!

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