You're a scrawny kid trying to do whatever it takes to put on muscle...Whey, Amino's... you're swallowing 18 pills including vita paks, Weider weight gainer...nothing works.

Then, like a miracle EAS comes out with Phosphegen Creatine. Your muscle stacks and weight increases...while shit runs out your ass like a raging flood.

During one of my sleep-overs with an ex girlfriend, I felt this horrible rumble in my stomach. You know - that awful rip in your gut telling you that your ass is about to explode. What the hell can you do? You gotta go. I mean you can't keep that shit in.
So after a few minutes of clenching my ass cheeks, I hoped my troubles would go away..but no. What's worse is that with every agonizing second, I'm silently shitting myself under the covers, the stench is beginning to peel the paint.

I hobble to the bathroom, you know that pathetic walk you do holding your self as you stumble to the shitter. Finally.

I'm in the bathroom sitting on the toilet and I give it a test run, my ass is feeling rather gassy at this point so I am afraid to open up the sphincter all the way 'cause I know what booming sounds lie within.

So, I try coughing, try running the water, it's all too obvious in her one bedroom, 2 Am apartment. It was pretty embarrassing to say the least, I had no choice but to let the muscles relax and let the draining begin. My ass made sounds that that would scare a small elephant. Poor girl had to listen to my leaky ass all night.

Needless to say, I never saw her again.

Creatine works. Be cautious and remain alone during your 4 or 5 day loading faze. Creatine has a way of cleaning you out before building you up.

Creatine, the muscle builder for the lonely bachelor.