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You think she's hot until she takes off her pants, then you see there is an entire forest down there.

She's wearing a thong, she's got a great ass. She drives you crazy all night at the bar grinding up against you, giving you the eye. Once again you are going to get laid.

You take her back to your place. She has great skin, great tits, and from what you can remember, she even speaks English. Bonus. Your clothes are coming off, she's dripping wet.
She takes off her underwear... and there it is. Sherwood fucking Forest.

You do your best to look past Robin Hood and His Merry Men. You move the hair out of your way with your fingers and you start chomping away. Spitting every few seconds as if chewing sunflower seeds. But you love it anyway. Until you move her legs back a little more until she exposes her pucker. It's then when you realize how hairy she really is.

She has little balls of toilet paper clumped up in all that hair from when she took a piss over two hours ago. It's just wrong. Ladies, if you are so into men shaving themselves, please take a little care of yourself. Take some wax and a lawn mower and hedge away. Please.

Panty Lines Suck...

Big Underwear. Why do women wear them? It's a fair question. It's astonishing, but there are still a few women that wear them. They are as ridiculous looking as wearing diapers under your dress.

If you want to be comfortable, wear sweat pants, put up your hair and stay home with your girlie friends. If you are leaking blood then fine, wear your mom's underwear but wear non form fitting pants. Wear a thong if you gonna be shakin' that ass. Don't you have a mirror? Or honest friends?

If you don't care how you look, that's something else. If you think your boyfriend or husband don't mind, they do. They may not say anything, but who the fuck could like something that reminds them of their hockey equipment.

The same applies for men of course. It's just not as funny to talk about it. For millions of years men have been pigs so as long as we don't let you see the shit stains in our underwear, everything is cool. A nice pair of Calvins and you can't go wrong. Of course for those of us who don't wear underwear, we already got it going on.

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