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Question:
I like this guy in some of my classes but the problem is that I really don't know him and its not the easiest thing to make conversation with him. How do i start talking to him without making it obvious? How do i get him to like me?

SM's Response:
It must be September... It's right around this time of year that SM gets more than the usual amount of emails asking - "How can I get him to notice me" or "How do I make him like me"

It's the first month of school and hormones are running rampant - everyone is scoping everyone else out - seeing who's gonna hook up and who's not.

It's like the rainy season in the Serengeti - suddenly the land is ripe and feasting begins... but unlike the Serengeti, the waters won't dry up - At least not until next June. That said, be patient. It's a long school year, so don't make a fool of yourself in the first month, wait at least until Christmas.

On to your question, 'how to get him to like you.' Let me answer your question with a question - 'why would you want to make someone like you' or 'get them to like you' ??

For example - say he starts to like you because you start doing something that you normally wouldn't do. You start dressing like a slut so he'll notice you.. what then? You'll start to compromise who you are just in hopes that someone will like you.

Relationships are phucked up. There's never any logical reason as to why someone likes someone else. You have dependent relationships, co-dependant relationships... We all so desperately want someone to like us. If they like you because of the purse you carry, or the car you drive, then they're idiots - and so are you for even wanting to be friends.

So the answer is, there is nothing you can do to get him to like you, other than be your charming self. If he's in the same class as you, you have plenty of opportunity to talk to him - either during, or after class.

Your approach will depend on the 'type' of guy he is, and the 'type' of girl you are. Meaning, is he someone that talks to everyone? Are you someone that talks to everyone? Are you shy?

Listen... there are way too many variables to give you any exact advice. The only thing you MUST do is, be yourself. And given the fact that you're still in high school, and still trying to discover who 'yourself' is, try not to pay too much attention to 'getting guys' and focus on being chill.

Every one in high school does everything they can to get noticed. You have obnoxious loud mouth kids - you have the whore types who nobody really likes but they have the power because they're willing to give it up to anyone in the gym locker room... you have geeks, jocks, gangsters... and they are all as insecure as you. They are all trying to impress everyone... and in the end they come off as idiots.. all of them.

So save yourself from being that insecure stereotypical kid - and don't worry about, 'getting him to like you' - just don't talk so much, be a little mysterious and don't laugh at every stupid thing he says.

Basically, wait for everyone else to make fools of themselves, then just do the opposite. Observe his patterns - get to know him from a distance. Know your enemy... you can learn a lot about someone simply by observing them in their habitat. Treat this like an experiment. Once you've collected your notes, you can determine what type of guy he is...

Maybe one day he's wearing a shirt from a band you like.. go up to him and say something like, 'what do you think of their latest album'

Get to know his interests - guys love talking about their hobbies. Ask and act around him the complete opposite of all the other little harlots trying to get his attention... be smart about it.

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