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Dating Advice - Females

Monday June 16th, 2008
Some time ago I met this couple.  He had a massive collection of the Simpson's dolls.  In fact he had 2 of each.  One to open, one to keep as mint.  Weird?  No doubt, but that's not my call.  We all have our thing.  Personally, mine isn't collecting children's toys, but whatever. 

Anyway, his wife hated them.  It's not as if had them strewn all over the place.  He had one room where they were all up on display.  She never even had to look at them if she didn't want to. 

Now I don't know if there were any other under laying reasons, but she simply wanted him to get rid of them.  It wasn't as if he was spending their grocery money on them (he did that on weed).  It's not as if he ignored her, locked himself up in the room and jerked off to them every night (not that I know of).  She just didn't like them.  So after months of arguing and fighting, he acquiesced and got rid of them.  He made a few bucks off of them, but nowhere near what he could make 20 years from now... That was it, gone.  Years and years of collecting, Done.  Gone.  Because she didn't like them. 

So years have past, I don't talk to them (they were friend's of my ex) so I'm not sure if they are still married or not - if they are kudos to them.  Kudos to him for not taking an ax to her.  If her balls were big enough (or rather, his were small enough) to ask him to get rid of his collectibles, I can't imagine what else she makes him do. 

It's not as if the guy had stacks of old porn mags or movies in an old box from his college days, or pictures and letter from of all of his ex girlfriends.  He had innocent dolls.  Maybe that was it, maybe she thought having dolls was too weird.  But phuck me, if you're dating a guy long enough to get married, don't you already know about all of his on goings?  Maybe you do. Maybe while you were dating, you felt powerless to get him to do anything...then you get married and your demanding bitchy side comes out?  Nice. 

Whether you collect Simpson's dolls, stamps, records or crabs in a pubic jar, you shouldn't ever ask anyone, make anyone, or feel pressured to throw your shit out.  If he insists on moving his old stinky comfy couch from college in with your stuff...then sure tell him where he can stick it.  But if he likes to collect innocuous, retarded childish things...then so what.  You know how much shit we have to deal with?  So let us have our 'fantasy leagues' and our torn, 3 year old underwear if it makes us feel comfortable.  He may get rid of his Spiderman comic book collection and seem ok with it, but resentment will build.  And soon, once he grows his balls back, he'll get rid of you.

Hank Scorpio

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