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My 'better half' has spent the last few days crowing at me because she doesn't feel like she's in a proper relationship. Phuck, who am I kidding, she's been at it for 4 years.

I'm a stoner. Surprise!! I'm also 35. She's 28 and so are all of her friends. I don't go out dancing, and I don't drink. Recap - I'm a stoner.

I enjoy in depth conversations and stretching my imagination to always reaching for the impossible. So basically I like to sit on the couch and get high...

The other day, broke as always I asked her if she wanted to grab a small bite to eat. I then did something that apparently no other man has ever done, I asked her if she had money to help pay... I figured that between the two of us we could scrape together enough dough and enjoy a Friday evening. Phuck was I in for a surprise...

How dare I ask for to go for a bite to eat THEN ask if she had a few bucks to pitch in. After all we've been together for 4 years.. how dare I be honest with her.

So now it seems that unless I have 100% of the cash, I shouldn't offer to do things. I shouldn't ask her to go anywhere or do anything unless I can pay for it. So now it's like paying for a date.

So as the conversation heats up, she brings to the table that she's been getting criticized by her ''friends." Evidently, everyone knows how to have a good relationship but me. Suddenly everyone is Dr. Phil.

Now we're not financially wealthy by any means. We both have to work hard at what we do.. but that's not right, because here in Los Angeles - women shouldn't really have to work.

Now who are all these people dispensing advice? They're drunks, gamblers and infidels. Daaat's right... the people that are throwing the stones are living in glass houses. But isn't that always the case? Isn't always easier to point out other people's problems than to fix your own?

So I'm a stoner, I don't like all her friends and I don't dance - but here's something - I don't gamble, I don't beat her, I don't go out carousing...

Try working on your own relationship before you start poking holes in someone elses'.

No relationship is perfect. You have to pick your battles - stoner husband, workaholic, alcoholic, gambler, infidel.. take your pick.

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