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Like You've Been There Before...

A teacher of mine once told our class that we have as many friends as we do fingers on one hand. If that. Well between the boys at the gym, the local pub, the "hey, I'm cool" mall plus all the guys at school...I'm up to 20 friends. Fingers AND toes baby.. Fingers and toes... This teacher must be mental.

Well, it's safe to say who the retarded one is now... In life, we are lucky to have 2 friends, 3 tops. Sure, you're thinking, "The Monkey has gone ape." You all have more than 20 friends right?

The friend you confided in, the one you just told your secrets to about your genital warts.. or your crush on Jimmy's mom... is now telling their 2 friends.. and so on and so on. We all wash with Halsa.

So when Ralph breaks up with you, unless you want everyone to know that you were only dating him to nail his friend, clam up (pardon the pun) and don't tell anyone. OR just tell one.

Eventually you'll be able to narrow in on the slack jaw, dribble lip, gossip queens. Then, you'll be able to use them to your advantage when it's your turn to spread childish rumors about your ex.

Another sure fire way to figure out who your friends are, is to lend money to them. You'll find out quickly who has integrity and who doesn't. Don't be sad when you learn that 90% of people have don't.

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