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As the smell of Bath and Body gently fills the air, you turn your head only to feel yourself quiver at the site of an 18 year old, freshly graduated high school girl...

You are two glances from hell, so you look again. "How come girls never looked like that when I was 16?"

Then you sadly realize, as everyone is looking at you and about to call the cops... "They did." They did look that way.

Hot girls have always been around, it's just at 16 you're too busy thinking about looking cool that you miss the scenery...

When you become old, you inevitably become perverted, because you're trying to recapture all that lost time and effort; but all you can do is sit, stare and commiserate.

As you wipe the drool and crumbs from your chin, pluck the ever growing nose hair from your nostril and peel the toilet paper from the bottom of your sticky shoe - you start to piece together that maybe, just the problem is you.

Kids, settle down, stop looking so cool and enjoy the view.

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