The one thing I'm dreading this year is prom. The fear of not having a date, of not looking good on the day, and possibly not going. I do okay academically so I wasn't too worried about college stuff or tests/etc. So my friends ask me who I'm going with and I feel like an idiot because I have no one to go with.
My issue is that I want to go to the prom with a person I like rather than a girlfriend or a friend that's a boy. I like a boy in my school but I don't share any classes with him and I rarely see him. He's also in a different clique altogether because he's popular and is the class president. The attraction I have is actually the want to be around him because he has such an aura and wonderful personality, it's not just lust -and I kinda wish it was because it'd be easier to find some hot guy to replace the idea of him. I want to ask him out but I rarely talk to him and one of my biggest fears that I have to be willing to face is rejection -which I'm slowly learning to accept. I know that if I don't ask I'll live with the regret of never knowing... And isn't that worse?
I don't really talk to his friends and I guess I should make a bigger effort to. This has been one of my best years (i'm a senior) because I'm more confident about myself but I'm still not sure if I'll be able to do it. I'd feel more comfort if I actually talked to him and knew him better. Even if only for the search to find something wrong with him to make me stop liking him. Other than that, I'm pretty much involved in every single school club except for a few and I play sports: field hockey, and lacrosse. I don't really know what he does outside of school so I can't really do much about that I think...
I'm not hideous or morbidly ulgy to look at but I live in a 'white school' and most of the girls dress like sluts (yeah, fulfill some of you pervertic fantasies) make-up, tank tops, mini skirts, and flip-flops. I'm Chinese, so in a way i guess it's positive because I can stand out more but in a way it's a negative because most guys could have their pick.
I've been asked to the prom by a guy I don't like online. I wouldn't have rejected him if he had approached me better, but he said I looked hot and wanted to date me and then eventually gave clues that he only wanted to **** me.
I have a backup and I seriously don't want to go with a friend but with a guy that I like... Some of the other guys already have girlfriends though. Sorry, for the long post i felt the need to be whiny and everything. Maybe it's better if I don't go at all. I apologize for being so whiny and stupid =).
So, does anyone have advice or their own prom stories they'd like to share?
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SM: Okay I'm going to start this all off by wasting my breath. Prom is a joke. In 5 years you're going to look back in horror at how anxious you were for this over blown, over hyped, pretentious display of total insignificance. Growing up in Montreal, Grad or 'Prom' was never a big deal, nor was being king or queen. In fact, we nominated the biggest losers as a goof. Same is true for Sororities and Fraternities; they just don't hold much weight. But unless you plan on moving to the Great White North in the next few weeks, then this does you no good. You're trapped where you are and with the friends you have.
Here's a little tale from yours truly - When I was in grade 10, I became friends with the hottest new girl that year. She happened to be in grade 11. We talked all the time. But nothing ever happened. (I was that idiot who hung around girls as their friends hoping one of them would crack) The following year, when it was my turn to graduate (In Quebec you graduate High School in grade 11). I decided, who better to ask than last years hottest catch. Right?!
Let me tell you, it's amazing what can happen to someone in 12 months. I hadn't seen her throughout the year, we only talked on the phone. I had no idea what shapely surprises lay ahead... Sure enough - I went to pick her up in the limo.. she opened the door and OH MY GOD, a very hairy girl answered the door. I had no idea.
There was hair everywhere; her arms, the back of her neck - dark Italian hair. It was horrible. Needless to say I was mortified. There are so many lesson in this story, I don't know where to begin. But you're Asian, you're smart, you'll get it.
So on with the advice - Prom sucks. Oh wait, we've covered that. 80% of kids are feeling the exact same way as you are. How do I know? Because I get these emails all the time. Sure, they be all be from my mom, trying to encourage me...
But seriously, everyone feels the way you do, and the ones that don't are too stuck up to realize their insecurities, but don't worry, it'll him them hard one day. But again, you're not interested in 'one day' you need answers now damnit!!!
Next problem is you're using words like 'aura' and 'wonderful personality' you're going to lose 99% of the guys if you pull out words like that.
PLUS you're only now getting clues that guys only want to ***k you ( "I wouldn't have rejected him if he had approached me better, but he said I looked hot and wanted to date me and then eventually gave clues that he only wanted to **** me.") SURPRISE. - they all do.
Don't ever think being Asian is negative when compared to white chicks. They can't, 'love you long time' Asian women and all non-Caucasian women are such a treat. White chicks are boring, whiney bitches. Especially the American ones. Problem is guys will only figure that out in 5 years from now.
So you may as well go and ask the guy you like. The 'aura' guy. But for the love of God - don't bring up his 'Aura' not until you're reading his fortune, pressing his shirts and riding him in your Kabuki cab.
Good Luck.
SM
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