Pop culture Politics Perversion Advice Speedmonkey.net

Details

Rate

Images

Definition of a High School Student

Confused and insecure. Whether you are giving it or taking it, both bullies and geeks seek acceptance. The biggest secret you can take with you going into grade 7 is, high school does not define who you are. It may seem like the longest 5 years of your life as you are getting stuffed in lockers and the having shit kicked out of you... but in truth high school has no relevance on your adult life, unless of course you married your high school sweetheart, got hooked on coke or knocked up your girlfriend...

Anomalies aside, high school comes, goes and leaves you filled with laughter when you think about how seriously you took it all.

Take the chance and run into some of your old high school "friends" see how they are doing. You'll soon discover that all the guys you tried so hard to impress are still working at their dad's company, working as airport baggage handlers, managing warehouses...

There is always a danger in showing all your cards at once. So if by the time you are 18 and you have already smoked pounds of pot, or you've managed to jam needles of juice into your ass in hopes of putting on a few extra pounds and loosing all your hair along the way... it's safe to say you'll have nothing left to give by the time you're 30. 

If you are 16, skinny, weird and reading this, be patient. The best revenge is a good life. The playing field levels out in your 20's. By 30 you're lucky if you can even remember the faces of some of the assholes you thought you wanted to be...but suddenly their names become clear as they slide their application across your $25,000 solid oak desk. Retribution.

Confessions of a High School Geek

If you're parents were bored during the winter, chances are you were born after the school year started. Say in October, November or December. So what ends up happening is, you wait an extra year to start kindergarten which means you'll always be a bit older than the other kids in your class.Which sucks.

If you're a scrawny kid (like I was) you are too old to play sports in the "junior" league and you are way too small to play in the "senior" league. And so life begins...
 
I was obviously a little prick because I was constantly being chased home or, I never even had a chance to run. They just enjoyed teasing and pushing. Never really any black eyes or anything, just a lot of bullying. Back in the 70's that just really meant name calling. "Hey you love Leif Garrett ha ha..." One day my sister, maybe 13 and her "boyfriend" waited for these kids after school and chased them.

High school was worse. My mouth got bigger, the bullies got bigger, I somehow got smaller. I was sarcastic cause I thought it was cool. I tried too hard. "hey Spike, hey Spike, want me to catch you a bone Spike?

I somehow avoided physical brutality but I knew I had a shitty reputation. I loved chasing girls and flirted with all of them. 

I would be chatting two or three at a time.  So the chicks started thinking of me as a pig I guess.

The friends I had, I met outside of school.  At my summer or part time jobs, summer school...

I was really getting into girls. I was 14. I was skinny and just wanted friends. However my reputation was not doing so well. It got so bad, I I changed schools going into grade 8. It was no better.

I don't know what in particular I said back then to make me so infamous. Perhaps it's more a case of the other kids being too cool to want to hang around an overly eager pubescent teen.

In my senior year things weren't better. The cool guys still thought I was a loser. Not a"retarded loser" but a "pathetic loser." But I guess me being around them gave them someone to pick on, thus giving them something to do.

Graduation. I asked a girl who had graduated the year before. She was so hot. I was going to blow everyone away.

We had talked a lot over the phone but I hadn't really seen her months. I went to pick her up. When she opened the door, I desperately tried to close it again. She had gained a ton of weight (my fetish hadn't fully developed) she was also wearing a sleeveless dress.

On an ordinary 16 year old girl this would be hot. However, standing in front of me was a descendant of Saskwatch. It was awful. We mutually ditched each other after dinner and went our separate ways.

A few weeks later, summer was upon us and college began. Ending my illustrious high school career as a loser. I was 17. I spent the next few years successfully repairing my reputation.

The thing is, high school is phucked up for everyone. The really "cool" kids are just as insecure and as lost as you.

When you're in class and the teacher asks, "Does anyone have any Questions?" and miraculously nobody does... that's because everyone is waiting for the other kid to ask the question, resulting in nobody ever understanding anything.

We are all looking for who we are. We try different styles, haircuts, music, whatever. It's all good. In the end we are all the same.

Eventually you will find out who you are. Don't let the other phuckers bring you down. They have the same worries. Everyone wants to be cool for everyone else.There is always a group cooler than the one you are in.

Don't waste your time giving a shit about being popular. "Cause it won't mean a thing in a hundred years..."

Be your own cool. Be kind and stay low. In the end, we get what we give. There's no avoiding it.

Read more dating advice

Name
Email
Comment