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If you can’t chew gum with your mouth closed, then don’t chew it at all. I saw a woman in a store the other day chomping away and geez it was the most ghastly thing ever seen.

"Chomp, chomp, chomp" is all you could hear and it was a noisy store. Good grief you could see ALL of her teeth and her tongue moved like a cow chewing on grass. She thought she was the shit too. Talking as loudly as she could to make sure all the attention was on her gabbing about, "Oh girl let me tell you what that playa said, blah, blah, blah…"

News flash! You and your comrade are the only people in this entire place that could give a fuck about what ‘Playa’ said. Spit that fucking gum out: you damn cow! Furthermore, I really don’t want to see your fat rolls hanging from your pants that are two sizes to small and your tee-shirt you bought in the infants’ department.

Either learn to chew gum or don’t chew it! It’s that easy… for the love of the people around you, suck on a breath mint instead. Something tells me that woman chews her food that way too, what a porker! People like this are in serious need of proper solicitation and basic training on manners.

Somehow though, I highly doubt a manners class would help some people such as cowgirl. Maybe she was raised by cows or pigs… who knows I’m just glad I don’t have to be the guy or the friend that has to listen to her, "chomp, chomp, chomp" all phucking day long… I’d kill myself.

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