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The Land Down Under...Well summer is coming and I make the first appointment of the season for my bikini wax. (During the winter months I shave.) Anyway, while making the appointment I get talked into a Brazilian wax. For those of you that don’t know what that is… ALL of the hair down under is removed… or should I say ripped out by the root!

So, I tell my sweetie all about what I’m about to go through and all he can say is…… OOOOO niiiiice! *Mumbles* Selfish Fuck… Bikini waxes are painful enough as it is but to remove ALL the hair? Well I’m going to walk you through the procedure just so you have a better idea of what women go through to please our men… and by the time this story is done you’d better drop to your knees and worship the ground your woman walks on!

The procedure or ‘concept’ of a Brazilian wax is the same as any other waxing treatment with one exception…. You will bleed and yes it hurts like fucken hell! However, every woman has different areas where they are sensitive to the torture…. I mean procedure.

The Torture Chamber:
The wax that was used on me was not the strip kind…. Oh know she broke out the ‘heavy duty’ wax for my first time… bitch! So, she smears the boiling hot wax over the top I let out a yelp.. "OH is the wax too hot?" No, I just like to scream for no fucken reason!… "Yes the wax is too hot!" So for the next application she turned the pot o’ wax down. In the mean time the green wax is getting hard…

Lady: "Ok are you ready?"

Me: "I guess so?"

And there is the first rip!

Me: "OUUUUUCH! SON OF A BITCH!"

Lady: "Ah, you’re a screamer….."

She shoves a towel in my mouth and tells me to just bit down on it.

The ripping of the hair from it’s root and taking some skin along with it is very painful.. but what is more painful is the ‘picking’ because the wax is NOT the strip kind which apparently isn’t ‘effective’ for a Brazilian, the wax used has to be picked at until there is enough of a lip to grip it and rip it.

And it gets worse…. just when I think I’m done….

Lady: "Ok I need you get on all fours."

Me: "Ummm, what for?"

Lady: "I need to get the hair on your back side."

With a horrified look on my face: "….ok…"

So I roll over, in pain and get on all fours.

Now the hot wax is smeared up my ass crack and I have to try balance with one hand holding one ass check out because if I don’t the wax will ‘glue’ my butt cheeks together. By this time the pain has completely numbed me and I really don’t feel much of anything.

Post Procedure:
Have plenty of ice in your freezer and pain killers because the next few days you will be swollen and very, very sore. Some woman will have mild bruising for a few days so just be warned sex will be that last thing on your mind…. Which, sucks because that is reason I did this in the first place.

Would I go though this painful process again? Would I endure such obscure positions with a woman I hardly know again?

Yep…. After it’s done and the pain and swelling is gone you feel so much ‘cleaner’.

Ok guys, now would be a good time to drop to your knees and kiss your honey’s freshly waxed ass!

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