is she taking you for granted?

Here’s a question from one of our awesome readers…

I’ve read all of your awesome columns and was wondering about something relating to relationships.   What is the best way to break up with someone who lately takes you for granted and doesn’t appreciate shit that you do for them. Everything seems to be a priority in their life except me!! I want them to feel worse then I do after they get dumped!!

SM: I’m sure by now you’ve dumped her.. or at least I hope you have.. The best thing to do is to give it time – I know, I know.. it’s a stupid answer, but in time she’ll figure out how good she had it with you and by then it’ll be too late.   Maybe the best thing to do is to date one of her friends. This way, her friend will always remind her what a great guy you are.  Just make sure you are the one dumping her. Nobody likes being dumped so if you can beat her to the punch, at least you can make her feel a bit shitty and loser like.   Once you dump her, make it known what a great time you are having without her. (Which is why I recommend dating someone she knows).   Hope this helps.

double standards for men and women

Here’s an email I got from some chick asking about double standards…

Question: Why is it so much more acceptable for teenage boys to be sexually active than it is for teenage girls? People seem to hold me to a higher standard than they do my brothers and guy friends, and i don’t understand what I did to deserve this. I think this is why girls hardly ever want to make the first move.

Excellent question – one that I have no answer to other than – WAKE – UP!!!   Life is brutally unfair. Your statement,” I didn’t do anything to deserve this” is absolutely valid. You didn’t.  You were simply born a girl, which in some countries can get you killed (see China) so consider yourself lucky.

But a more direct way to answer your question – have you seen the news?  Men are predators.   You’re a girl – you can get knocked up, raped or beaten up a hell of a lot easier than a guy.
So, no matter what you try to tell your folks – they’ll never listen because they are trying to protect you for as long as they can from the scum of the earth.   So in a backwards way, be thankful.  Be thankful that your parents know a hell of a lot more than you do.

Your fight is well appreciated, but unfortunately you’re up against evolution.  Which of course depending on your belief, never existed in the first place.

how to keep a guy

You can’t. You can keep pets and rocks, but not people. However, there are things you can do to avoid pushing him away. The word “keep” applies to objects or animals. You keep a grasshopper, a cat, not a guy. (Or a woman for that matter, but I have yet to figure that one out…) So rather than focusing on, keeping, let’s focus on, not losing. Besides, a guy will wander and stray if that’s what he wants to do.

You can’t keep him by buying sexy clothes, losing weight, boob jobs… lifts, tucks, nothing can keep him if he wants to stray.  So what you need to focus on is, not pushing him away. But unfortunately, that’s what we all tend to do whether we want to or not.

“He won’t go out for hamburgers if you make steak at home”. Basically, a good way not to loose him, is to cook for him.  Guys will eat sandwiches every night if we have to, it makes no difference, but suddenly if you make him a nice meal a few times a week, he’ll really begin to appreciate you.

Don’t nag him, don’t bitch or whine. These three traits seem a common sore spot with most men. Their girlfriend’s seem to always bitch or nag about something. So, try not to nag us. Yes we’re hard headed and forgetful and you may think nagging us is justified, but in our minds, it NEVER is.

Don’t be possessive or jealous. He’s gonna look at other women, let him. The worst thing you can do is try to stop his male intuition. Of course, don’t let him insult you or disrespect you, but allow him to sniff around. We’re dogs, we need our space.

Take one for the team. Of course you don’t feel like putting out all the time, but now and again, you gotta just roll over and let him have his way for a few minutes.

Remember, he’s not yours to keep. Yes, everything I say, sucks, but that’s the way it goes. Men need women to take care of them yet at the same time, we don’t want to feel possessed. Being a woman is an ungrateful job, but if you play it right, being a woman can be a lot of fun.