Tag: Snooki

Don’t Call Snooki Dirty. Smells Like Urine

Snooki insists she is not dirty and that she smells clean.  I guess when you live in a stink filled cave all your life and were formed from bile, smelly and dirty are relative terms.  In the video below, Snooki reveals that she wet herself and the dance floor with her own urine.  That’s right, she peed herself and pretty much created a hazardous environment for everyone around her.  But it’s the Jersey Shore, so “hazardous environment” is redundant.  Anyway, she sprays herself with perfume trying to mask her smell.  Like a hunter hunting deer.  Or Ewoks.

The World Is Safe. Snooki Not Pregnant

In what yesterday I thought was the first sign of the Apocalypse,  turns out to be a false alarm… for now at least.  But rest assured, as the Mayans predicted, this toilet monster named Snooki will indeed have children of her own.  Then we’ll see who’s been crazy living in an abandoned war bunker all these years.

Snooki Looks Good…

snooki no make up

Snooki tweeted this photograph of herself wearing no make-up earlier today

Nice lips. She looks quite healthy.

Snooki’s Fragrance Probably Smells Like Cabbage

Here’s Snooki channeling her inner AnnaLynne Mccord whilst peddling her new perfume.  I didn’t know they could legally sell pepper spray as perfume?  But I guess if they add a splash of Shweddy Balls, their good to go.


Snooki Takes Her Floaties To A Vegas Pool Party

Snooki, or Annalynne Mccord? Whomever hired Snooki for this event is a douche. But a smart one. A douche for perpetuating this crap, but smart for knowing the target audience. Sorta like understanding lemmings. It’s pretty easy trapping dumb people. Offer them Snooki and they will come. They will come from miles across our great land in hopes of catching a glimpse of the one known as Snooki.  As they throw their money away, dreaming of greatness.  They will drop out of school, take to you tube, make videos of themselves doing stupid shit because that’s what everyone seems to want.  Snooki is their role model.

Speaking of Snooki, I saw Angelyne’s pink corvette yesterday, of course I should have taken a picture, but I was hoping instead to spot the sexy seductress in the flesh at the grocery store, where I would then take a picture with her… so I didn’t bother with the car.  Unfortunately, I didn’t see her.

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jersey shore snooki bleeds

Here’s J-woww helping out Snooki, who I’m guessing had a bit of a wipe out walking around cobble stone streets in those stupid ‘effing shoes.  I’m guessing if you’re friends with a Snooki, you always come prepared with antibiotic wipes, rubber gloves, a CPR mask and an Ewok-English translation guide.

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Snooki Put Two Cops In Hospital

Nicole Polizzi was involved in a car accident in Florence, Italy, today.

Her t-shirt might read, “I’m Bad” but it really should read, “I’m an Idiot”. Mind you, it’s not her fault she’s a waste of space. It’s her parents, and it’s MTV’s for inflaming the issue.  Stupidity should not be rewarded, but in this country, it’s a badge of freaking honor. From the DailyMail:

The accident happened in the Renaissance city of Florence where the crew arrived earlier this month to film series four of the hit MTV series which will be screened later this year.

Photographs from the scene posted on Italian newspaper websites showed two police officers – a man and a woman – being placed in an ambulance and taken to the CTO hospital in the city for treatment to minor injuries.

Others showed Snooki, real name Nicole Polizzi in the front seat hiding face as she was questioned by a Florence city traffic officer who was examining her licence.

The accident happened after her car crashed into the traffic police vehicle that had been assigned to escort them and described it as a ‘low speed impact.’

snooki cops italy hospital

snooki cops italy hospital

snooki cops italy hospital

 

 

 

 

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JWoww And Snooki, Lost In Yonkers

 

Talk about the blind leading the bling…Sorry girls, they don’t map out tanning salons. How much money is enough to allow yourself to be made fun of?  30K an episode?  Is that the price of dignity?  Assuming you even had some to begin with…

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Snooki A WWE Diva

No, Snooki unfortunately, we CAN still see you.

 

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