Kid’s gonna be pretty ‘effin healthy.
Tag: Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson To Get Smaller Boobs
Jessica Simpson hates huge boobs
This is the saddest Labor Day ever!
JESSICA Simpson is going under the knife – to make her boobs SMALLER.
The TV star, 31, told pals she is fed up with her DD breasts as they “make her look fat”.
A pal said: “She’s never loved having a huge chest.”
The star reportedly wants to slim before her wedding to American footballer Eric Johnson. The pal said she may even POSTPONE the wedding if she can’t lose weight for the November 11 event.
Alba and Simpson Go Ivy League
Considering George Bush went to Yale, I’m not surprised that these two airheads are attending some 10 year reunion. Funny, I thought reunions were only for High School. Who has University reunions?
Alba Tweeted:
“Yale reunion this weekend. Excited to live vicariously through all those Ivy Leaguers with fancy degrees,”
Those Ivy Leaguers? Fancy degrees? F-YOU! Condescending bitch. You hit the lottery by becoming a famous H-wood douche bag and now you make light of the fact that you’re a stupid idiot with no formal education by referring to a college education as “fancy”. I guess for WT like you and Jessica Simpson, they would be considered fancy. Like putting a napkin on your lap before digging in to your Big Mac.
Jessica Simpson Has No Pants
Weekend was pretty good. Mom is still in town and I broke my bong. It was bound to happen with me shuffling it around my apartment looking for hiding places. It ultimately broke against the toilet bowl… Oh what, you never had to hide in the bathroom before?
I went out and quickly replaced it. But given the nature of a bong, I refuse to spend more than $40 on one anymore. They always end up the same, regardless of price. Broken.
The low point was the 4 hours I wasted watching Water World. I might be the only one who kinda likes that movie. But watching it on network TV with all those commercials… Thank God I replaced that bong!
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Jessica Simpson: ‘My Breasts Get Me Out of Parking Tickets’
I’ve tried pulling that stunt on a few officers myself, doesn’t seem to work though. But one thing that confuses me about what she says is, “now i can make my way in and out of parking tickets” Um… so you’re trying to get parking tickets?
“There’s no way to hide them as much as you want to bandage your boobs down.” Simpson, 30, has since learned to embrace her chest as her “best accessory,” telling PEOPLE, “Now I can make my way in and out of parking tickets: Show the girls and give a wink!”
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