What’s that disease where you refuse to see yourself as you truly are? Anyway, COPS came to my place on Saturday night. I know, right?! I’m such a nice guy, who would possible call the cops on me. Oh that’s right, my psycho neighbor.
Saturday evening I took my dogs out for their nightly walk. Up the street I see my bundled up, busy body neighbor. She’s always yapping on the phone, shoulder pressed up to her cheek, whilst trying to control her 3 yappy chihuahuas who are running rampant on a retractable leash. I continue to walk in her direction figuring she’ll do at least something about her dogs. She knows full well they are out of control, but still does nothing about it. Sure enough, she does nothing, and sure enough her dogs coming running right for us, one of them tangling itself behind me. I tell her to control her ‘effing dogs. She LOSES it. I mean, her phone drops away from her fat cheek and hit the floor, expletives fly from her mouth about what an a-hole I am… 30 minutes later, COPS show up at my door. The LA f*cing PD.
I make sure to stash everything and I go outside to talk with them. According to psycho neighbor, I did more than tell her to control her effing dogs,… according to the po po, I called her all sorts of names and even kicked her dog. She can’t control her dogs, I call her on it and suddenly cops are at my door telling me I kicked her dog. After explaining myself for about 10 minutes, they took my name and left. So when you read about a man getting stabbed or mugged in LA… just remember, the cops are too busy over at my place asking why I swore at my neighbor.
I can’t even begin to tell you how wrong that is on so many levels. Just like Christina’s dress. If anyone should have the cops at their door…