Category: Dad’s Blog

Scooby-Doo Sells Out

So it’s been a while since I watched Scooby-Doo.  But now that my daughter is a bit older, we enjoy watching all the episodes together.  All the OLD episodes on Boomerang.  I get that everything changes.  But listening to the new Scooby-Doo theme song, is down right offensive.  In fact, watching the new Scooby-Doo is brutal.  In one episode, Thelma actually told Shaggy to “shut-up”.  I get the need to update graphics, but to change the entire theme of a show from a group of laid back mystery solvers, to a group jacked-up, electric foul mouth kids is wrong.  Same thing with Tom and Jerry.  Since when could Tom talk?  F8cking brutal.  Not everything needs to be sped up, in your face.  Kids need calm.

Listen to the old intro, then the new one.. you’ll see what I mean.  Feels like my whole childhood was a lie.  It was.  But this makes it sting a bit more.

 Original: Danny Janssen and Austin Roberts

New: Simple Plan

The Fat Nanny and Hand Sanitizer

I’m thinking that if you’re going to hire a nanny, at least make sure she can keep up with your kid.  Or just stuff the kid full of crap, so she won’t be as fast.  That’ll work too.  I see scores and scores of this at the park.  Fat nannies sitting on a bench, texting, or watching movies while their kids run a muck all over the playground.  My Saturday night was awesome.  I got to spend about an hour scrapping Cinderella stickers of my daughter’s mirror.  The trick is to use hand sanitizer.  Soak the stickers then take a scrapper and get to work.  I simply used a plastic lid from my kid’s fake dishware.  So much fun.

cleaning stickers of a mirror

Full Daddy Duty

tee hee… I said, “duty”.  There’s nothing more a chick loves than seeing a guy taking care of his 2 kids.  Now only if I had somewhere to put them…

This Father Just DESTROYED Society’s Definition Of Beauty.

#Dr.KellyFlanagan, a licensed clinical psychologist and happy father of three, keeps a fantastic blog, full of wonderful opinions and personal advice. He has made a habit out of writing letters to his young daughter, to help teach her about the world. But not only his daughter could benefit from reading his wise words.

Dear Little One,

As I write this, I’m sitting in the makeup aisle of our local Target store. A friend recently texted me from a different makeup aisle and told me it felt like one of the most oppressive places in the world. I wanted to find out what he meant.

Affordably gorgeous,

Infallible,

Flawless finish,

Brilliant strength,

Liquid power,

Go nude,

Age defying,

Instant age rewind,

Choose your dream,

Nearly naked, and

Natural beauty.

When you have a daughter you start to realize she’s just as strong as everyone else in the house—a force to be reckoned with, a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man. But sitting in this store aisle, you also begin to realize most people won’t see her that way. They’ll see her as a pretty face and a body to enjoy. And they’ll tell her she has to look a certain way to have any worth or influence.

But words do have power and maybe, just maybe, the words of a father can begin to compete with the words of the world. Maybe a father’s words can deliver his daughter through this gauntlet of institutionalized shame and into a deep, unshakeable sense of her own worthiness and beauty.

A father’s words aren’t different words, but they are words with a radically different meaning:

Brilliant strength. May your strength be not in your fingernails but in your heart. May you discern in your center who you are, and then may you fearfully but tenaciously live it out in the world.

Choose your dream. But not from a department store shelf. Find the still-quiet place within you. A real dream has been planted there. Discover what you want to do in the world. And when you have chosen, may you faithfully pursue it, with integrity and with hope.

Naked. The world wants you to take your clothes off. Please keep them on. But take your gloves off. Pull no punches. Say what is in your heart. Be vulnerable. Embrace risk. Love a world that barely knows what it means to love itself. Do so nakedly. Openly. With abandon.

Infallible. May you be constantly, infallibly aware that infallibility doesn’t exist. It’s an illusion created by people interested in your wallet. If you choose to seek perfection, may it be in an infallible grace—for yourself, and for everyone around you.

Age defying. Your skin will wrinkle and your youth will fade, but your soul is ageless. It will always know how to play and how to enjoy and how to revel in this one-chance life. May you always defiantly resist the aging of your spirit.

Flawless finish. Your finish has nothing to do with how your face looks today and everything to do with how your life looks on your last day. May your years be a preparation for that day. May you be aged by grace, may you grow in wisdom, and may your love become big enough to embrace all people. May your flawless finish be a peaceful embrace of the end and the unknown that follows, and may it thus be a gift to everyone who cherishes you.

Little One, you love everything pink and frilly and I will surely understand if someday makeup is important to you. But I pray three words will remain more important to you—the last three words you say every night, when I ask the question: “Where are you the most beautiful?” Three words so bright no concealer can cover them.

Where are you the most beautiful?

On the inside.

From my heart to yours,

Daddy

To see more of Dr. Flanagan’s writings, check out his blog. This man has a good head on his shoulders, more of us could stand to have his kind of good sense.

NBC Olympic Coverage Sucks Balls

#MariahCarey has more coverage than the #nbcolympics ~ It’s been absolutely brutal trying to make any sense of the Olympic coverage.  I’m afraid to go online, I can’t check Facebook…because it seems that every other country is showing live coverage.  Imagine that?!

 

Stay At Home Dad Leaves Post Its For Wife

On May 19th, 2010, Chris Illuminati quit his job to be a stay-at-home father for his newly born son. When beginning his endeavor, Chris stated “As a reminder of everything going on with my writing, I leave Post-It Notes around my office as reminders. I decided to incorporate those same organizational principles while watching my son.”  The Post-Its left for his permanent roommate (his wife) comically capture the day to day endeavors of raising a child.

Check out more of Chris’ Post-Its on his blog http://messagewithabottle.tumblr.com/

19 Things People Swear They’ll Never Do Until They Have Kids

1. Use a leash on my kids.

Nope! You’ll never use one of these even if your kid is a “runner,” has special needs, or is deathly afraid of crowds. Not you!

 

2. Complain about being tired.

Gah! All the complaining from parents about being tired! You won’t do that. After six months of sleeping no more than a couple hours at a time, we won’t hear a peep out of you because you know how annoying it is!

3. Pack on a few extra “parent pounds.”

Unlike most lazy parents, you’re going to rise early (after getting up every two hours through the night) and hit the gym. Good for you. Can’t wait to see it! more

4-19 here

 

Dad’s Weekend Roundup

So apparently the Golden Globes were last night.  It’s great to see rich people poke fun at themselves for being rich and famous… it makes us all feel so much better about ourselves.  I saw Con Air this weekend.  I don’t think Nicholas Cage won any awards it.  He should have.  Probably one of the best performances by an actor ever.  “why couldn’t you put the bunny back in the box”  … I mean, classic.  Another movie I saw, A Place Behind The Pines… are you ‘effing kidding me?  Worst movie ever.  A white man’s, Monster Ball, except it was really crappy.  And Oblivion… Tom Cruise… WHAT?  It was a weekend of crap movies and Colin Kaepernick!

Mother Throws Baby In Bus Fight

So classy.  How this fight lasted as long as it did is beyond me.  I hope someone recognizes this idiot mother and reports her to CPS… who will in turn do NOTHING.

Dad’s Weekend Roundup

#melissabachman ~ It was a great weekend.  I was fortunate enough to witness this chick with her crack hanging out…PLUS I got to see a giant USC v. Stanford upset.  Funny thing, there was a line up of guys standing around taking pictures of ass crack.  That’s how I noticed it her in the first place.  I saw this guy taking a picture, I looked to see what it was… and now I wish I hadn’t.  Caution indeed.  Then yesterday I see this pics of Melissa Bachman.. no idea who she was, but now I do.  The b*tch enjoys killing animals.  I can understand maybe if you’re a farmer and them damn coyots keep eatin’ your chickens… or if your family was at risk.  But no, jump on a plane, fill out all the necessary paper work, get your permits, pack your bags, jump in a jeep, drive for hours and hours, miles and miles… sit, wait, aim and kill..kill an animal that has nothing to do with you.  Never met you, never posed a threat, never looked at you the wrong way… it’s all around senseless.  Daddy issues no doubt.

What Awesome Parents

chinese girl dangles from neck

If you’re waiting for this story to end with, “parents were arrested… or child protective services showed up….” don’t hold your breath.  This is China after all and she’s a girl.  She’s to be alive.  Weak little girl… no room for tears in Mao’s China.

A three-year-old girl was found dangling by her neck from a fourth floor window grill after her parents left her alone to go to work in China. Firefighters were called when passerby heard Chyou Wang’s cries after she became stuck by her head in the grill, which is designed to stop burglars. The tearful girl was eventually freed by emergency services in the city of Guilin in Guangxi Zhuang after they broke into the flat. Her parents said she must have got bored or gone to look for them and somehow managed to open the window by herself.  Father Lian, 44, said: ‘We never imagined something like this could have happened.  ‘We are so grateful that it worked out well in the end.’ In the meantime her parents had also been located and came back to console their daughter and now promise not to leave her on her own in future.  Read more